tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10235575.post6129349868018751772..comments2024-02-04T15:48:48.193-05:00Comments on Adventures in Applied Math: Bullying, Bad Effects, and BenefitsRebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06927630155994067676noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10235575.post-46503009373447925632009-06-14T17:54:55.541-04:002009-06-14T17:54:55.541-04:00As a timid, not very articulate, and small in stat...As a timid, not very articulate, and small in stature kid, I had a similar experience. It forced me to be somewhat of a loner, and I tend to credit my independence to it. But really, I think Susan is right - how we react to things depends mostly on who we are, and we would have turned out this way even if we had to go through less crap as kids. I am glad that I reached a point where I will no longer put up with such crap, and will speak up for those too timid to do it for themselves (we have a bully or two in my grad school lab). And I am glad you see some positive that came out of your experience as well, although it is scary as hell to think that our kids might have to deal with the same thing.ScienceGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00071055167798044468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10235575.post-41738752225925870222009-06-05T19:29:35.748-04:002009-06-05T19:29:35.748-04:00Rebecca, I'm sorry you had to go through this ...Rebecca, I'm sorry you had to go through this as a kid...it just breaks my heart, kids can be so cruel. I don't think I had it nearly as bad as you, but I have some very bad memories as well that took years to get over. I suppose it makes us who we are.<br /><br />You have a lovely life now, so there! Right? :)PhizzleDizzlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02036442165798690074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10235575.post-52702236702348202782009-06-04T11:44:15.279-04:002009-06-04T11:44:15.279-04:00Susan, thanks for your very good points. You are ...Susan, thanks for your very good points. You are right that my inner strength is what made me respond in the way I did. But, I think that if I hadn't had those experiences, I wouldn't have become as sensitive to others as I am today. Kind of like when you learn a new word and you see it everywhere -- not because it's suddenly appeared, but because it's on your radar.<br /><br />Jay, while I'm sorry you had to go through that, it's at the same time comforting to know I'm not the only one. Like you, I just can't participate in that petty stuff. The healing takes time, you're right. I recently looked at a letter I wrote to my future husband when I was in college, and I was shocked by all the self-loathing I expressed in that letter 15 years ago. It will be interesting to see in 15 more years what else changes.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06927630155994067676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10235575.post-58937729127038472482009-06-03T18:41:09.537-04:002009-06-03T18:41:09.537-04:00I had very similar experiences, except it was larg...I had very similar experiences, except it was largely my "friends" shunning me and making me feel like an outcast. I was the only one who brought lunch from home and had similar lunch table woes to you (would stall, did not want to sit alone). I wasn't really tomboy-ish enough to make friends with "the guys" though I had guy friends they were often participating in the shunning.<br /><br />I definitely agree about it making you a more considerate person. I started to get over a lot of these little social issues when I was forced to work in an admin role supporting around 100 people I didn't know. Everyone knew me of course, but I had to learn how to be friendly, make small talk, work on my eye contact, and deal with the politics in a large department. Things can be very cut-throat here and most of the guys are dog-eat-dog, as well as most of the women. I find I just can't participate in their meanness to other people, I think because I had the same junior high experiences. I'm not sure how old you are, but getting older can help a little and being forced to socialize/work with a LOT more people can help too. Kindred spirits I think, and thanks for the post.FrauTechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03466617977964303158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10235575.post-52338963420121147432009-06-03T11:01:49.970-04:002009-06-03T11:01:49.970-04:00I'm an infrequent commenter here, and I don...I'm an infrequent commenter here, and I don't want to remotely appear to be contesting your reflections after so many years....but I resist the conclusion that what those girls did to you shaped you for the better. Your resiliency and inner strength responded to all that crap, and it's YOU who's shaped the adult you are today. Those are your choices (just as some of the choices you made as a kid might have played into how other kids reacted to you). All that behavior was despicable, and no kid should have to endure that. You've found the resources to respond to the crap, but I don't want to think that the crap caused it. You've got a lot of inner strength (just look at your running!). Give yourself the credit, not the bullies.susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12000470374101306070noreply@blogger.com