Friday, December 16, 2005

Who's In Charge?

I'm not feeling so hot today.

Without going into detail, let's just say that my gastrointestinal system is having a disagreement with me, for the second time in less than a week. It's kind of strange, because normally I have a digestive system of stainless steel. Unless I eat onions, of course. The first one I attributed to too much commercial food containing onions. But this one, well I've been good since then, dammit! So I don't know what it is. I'm thinking I must have a virus or something.

When I was 25, I went through a phase when I had gastrointestinal problems very frequently, for no apparent reason. I used to carry Immodium with me at all times. Then I just stopped having that problem, and the Immodium that I still have in my backpack has expired.

This is not an uplifting blog topic, however, so I will leave you with the following joke (which is ringing true for me at the moment):

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic.

Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The moral of the story? The asshole is always in charge.

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