Milestones

Today we took Vinny to his first-ever movie in a movie theater.  It was Toy Story 3 (which was very good, in fact).  He sat the entire time on my lap, and paid attention to the movie for the majority of the time.  The previews were painfully loud, though, so I covered his ears at the beginning.  I thought I was going to have bad cramps in my arms (not to mention the pain shooting through my left elbow!), but luckily the movie was not quite so loud, and I was able to remove my hands from his ears.

After the movie we met some friends at a sort of arcade/amusement park place, where our three-year-olds just enjoyed sitting at the driving games and thought they were playing without us having to insert any tokens, and also went on all the kiddie rides (e.g., the airplanes that go round and round, the mini-train, etc.)

Then we went out to dinner together before going home and putting Vinny to bed.  I think I will head to bed really soon myself.

Back Home Again

I made it home safe and sound on Tuesday, one day later than I had planned. The delay was because when I got out of my car to pump gas, I got a migraine! Luckily, this happened right outside of my hometown, so I just called my dad and bonus mom and they came and picked me up and let me spend the night. If it had happened anywhere else I suppose I would have had to find a hotel room.

Then, on Thursday, I got another migraine! I was so angry and disgusted about that. I don't usually get them in such short succession like that. It made me feel a little worried that something is changing (for the worse).

But it hasn't been all headache, all the time, around here. (Well, okay, it pretty much has. Because even though I didn't have an aura obscuring my vision on Tuesday, Wednesday, and most of Thursday, I did still have a headache -- enough of one that I chose to wear my hair down rather than in my usual ponytail.)

It was great to be home and see my number one fans again. Jeff was relieved to be no longer single-parenting it, and Vinny just thinks I'm lots of fun, which is very affirming. Last night he and I made some gingerbread dough, which we rolled out into gingerbread cookies this morning. I used the cookie cutters of his choice (two different gingerbread people cutters, as well as the slightly less Christmas-themed shapes of hearts, flowers, butterflies, and squares) to make the cookies, which he then decorated with various candies before I popped them in the oven for seven minutes.

I used the gingerbread recipe in The Joy of Cooking, which I had never tried before, but they turned out quite well. The only problem I had was that the dough comes out of the refrigerator hard -- I had to chip away at it with a fork in order to get some pieces out. Even when it cools to room temperature it is still quite hard, and rolling the dough is a major upper-body workout -- along the same lines as sawing a gigantic squash, only you have to do it more than twice. My left arm was in a fair amount of pain by the end of the whole deal.

But, once you worked the dough, it made some fantastic gingerbread cookies. They held together better than any other recipe I've used. Vinny was able to decorate them with no problems. And most importantly, they were really really delicious. I got a chance to eat one before packing them up and sending them off with Jeff and Vinny to Granny and Granddad's.

I have the house to myself this weekend; they're coming back on Monday. I plan to spend a significant amount of time sleeping and trying to get rid of this blasted headache (yup, my hair is still down today).

Musical Monday

Something I realized last night was that I have not spent much time on this blog talking about music. I thought I might remedy that oversight starting now!

I am a music afficionado. In fact, it's entirely possible that music, rather than blood, courses through my veins. (Although the mosquitoes do like me an awful lot, so maybe not!)

As a toddler, I was somewhat challenging and emotionally intense, but a surefire way to make me content was to put some headphones on me and play some music. I'd just sit there and listen for hours, which, as a mother, I now find pretty amazing, because there's no way I could get Vinny to sit still that long.

I loved music so much that my mom signed me up for violin lessons when I was 3 going on 4. I studied Suzuki violin through elementary and junior high school, and continued to take violin lessons in high school. I also played in the youth orchestra from the time I was in 6th grade.

In college, I took almost enough courses to get a music minor, and I played in the community orchestra, which I really loved. But at that point, the years of abuse to my arm was beginning to catch up with me.

In grad school, I found a community orchestra and played with them for about one semester, but it wasn't as fun as my former orchestra, and I got busy, and ended up not going back. I played less and less often, which was probably for the better, because my left arm kept getting worse. I had my first ulnar nerve entrapment problem after a particularly long essay exam (yes, even computer scientists can have essay tests; this was the final in a parallel computing class!), and then I continued to have more arm problems, until a particularly long but exciting derivation left me in severe and permanent pain.

But luckily, playing is not the only form of musical expression I had at my disposal. My arms may not work the way I want them to, but I still have my ears! So throughout the years, I've listened to a lot of music.

In college, I bought a fair number of CDs, but when I became a poor graduate student, I was able to borrow a lot of music from the library. This allowed me to broaden my musical horizons without risk.

Classical music is my favorite genre, although I don't like most of the things that your everyday person thinks define the genre, such as Baroque music (e.g., Pachelbell's canon, The Four Seasons, etc.) and Mozart. No, I am a big fan of early 20th century symphonic music, Russian romantic era symphonies, and medieval and renaissance music. There are other pieces I enjoy that don't fall into those categories, but by and large, those are my favorites.

But, I also enjoy a lot of other music. In particular, as a failed liberal elite, I listen to the oldies radio station instead of NPR when I'm driving to and from work. (I hate listening to the news, and when they're not playing the news, NPR plays too much of the aforementioned Baroque and Mozart.) I enjoy a lot of songs from the 1960s and 70s, so it's a good station for me to listen to.

I also enjoy a lot of world music, including authentic folk songs and fusion music that combines traditional ethnic elements with Western musical sensibilities. I always like hearing something new that pushes the boundaries of what I'm accustomed to.

I was thinking I'd start a series of indeterminate length to share with you some music that I like, as well as the reasons I like it. I plan to start with some songs that are probably more familiar (e.g., from the oldies station) and work my way towards obscurity. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do!

Mariachi Update

So my regular readership may recall that I formed a mariachi band. I had been asked to participate in Hispanic Heritage month, and found a book of mariachi music that exactly fit the volunteers -- two violins, a guitar, and an electric bass.

I gave my band members copies of the music quite some time ago, and then created CDs of the music using GarageBand and iTunes. I transcribed the music into GarageBand, one note at a time, exported the songs to iTunes, and made a playlist which I burned onto CDs.

Today was our first practice. It was held at the house of one of our band players, who has a lot more space than I do, and who sometimes reads this blog. (Your house was great! Thanks for hosting us!)

Since before we've added another guitar -- the original guitarist has a grad student who plays too, and agreed to join the band without any arm twisting or paycheck witholding. Both guitarists are really good, as of course, are the electric bassist and the other violinist. The music is tricky in places but not too tough I'd say.

You may be wondering how my arm behaved itself. It endured for quite some time, but by the end of the practice, my arm was killing me. I was glad that we had some doughnuts and talked for a while before I had to get in the car and drive. I will probably take some tylenol or something before going to bed, and make sure that it stays unbent all night long.

Acrobat-icks

So I installed Adobe Acrobat 8 on my work laptop, because that way I would be able to fill out forms without having to write, which would be good for my arm.

Too frequently, I get Word documents from people, in which they want me to fill in the blanks, sign, and return. For example, a couple of weeks ago I got a committee housing reservation form for the conference. What they expect you to do is print it out, fill in the blanks by hand, and then fax it in. But, I can't really do that comfortably, so instead I try to type in the blanks, but that just ends up messing up the formatting.

So I asked my boss if I could please buy Adobe Acrobat 8, which I could use to create a pdf form from Word documents such as the housing reservation form, and fill them in by typing. He of course said yes, because he is made of awesome. I joked with him that it was a good thing he agreed, otherwise I'd have to report him to the Equal Opportunity Office.

(I voluntarily self-identified as disabled when I began my staff position. This is because it had been a month since my elbow surgery and I didn't know how it was going to turn out. So I figured it made sense to get the woman who was helping me fill out all my new employee paperwork to go ahead and fill out that form too. Fast-forward two months, and the EOO calls me to make sure that my disability had been adequately accommodated. I had to confess that I had gotten an ergonomic evaluation very quickly -- showing off that fabulous scar bumped me up to the top of the wait list -- but I hadn't yet ordered the ergonomic materials. It was entirely my fault; my boss had told me to order whatever I wanted and given me the appropriate charge numbers -- and I told them so. But apparently that didn't stop them from calling and yelling at him about it. He yelled right back and asked them what they wanted him to do -- install the keyboard tray himself?

We have a good relationship, my boss and I -- good enough that I can give him a good-natured ribbing about the Equal Opportunity Office, and many other things, for that matter. As I said, he is made of awesome. But I digress.)

Anyhow, in my short experience with it, Acrobat 8 is not all that great. It crashes a lot and corrupts your files as it goes down. This doesn't matter so much, maybe, if you're doing what I mentioned before, because it doesn't take long to recreate the form. But I was trying something more complicated with it earlier, and it completely destroyed my pdf file.

Also, if you have Acrobat 8.0.0, it is known to crash within ten seconds of startup because of the automatic update package. So you have to go into info (Apple-I), look under packages, and uncheck the automatic update package. I upgraded it to version 8.1 just now, so hopefully that will improve the stability, but who knows. So far I am displeased with Acrobat 8, but I will let you know if my opinion changes.

The 24-Hour Travel Marathon (and More!)

I bet you are all wondering what in the world happened to me. Usually I post late in the week and over the weekend, but you haven't heard a peep out of me since last Sunday!

Well, this is because I have been traveling. This week I am in Seattle at a conference, culminating in a tutorial I am giving on Friday afternoon.* But before the conference, I decided that since Seattle is so close to Vancouver, British Columbia, I would visit my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew for a few days.

I left on Thursday morning, flying from my local airport to Denver and on to Seattle. The trip was uneventful and all my flights were on time. I then took a bus to the Tukwila train station near the airport, and waited for a train which would take me into Seattle, where I would transfer from the train to a bus that would take me to Vancouver, arriving at roughly ten o'clock pm.

As I have learned, every time I travel there must be some adventure. This bus ride ended up filling my "adventure quota" for this trip and several more to come.

We left about an hour late, which is typical but not bad for Amtrak. Then, about 45 minutes outside Seattle, the bus blew the left rear inner tire. We sat there for quite some time... well, read an excerpt from the email I sent the bus company:

[The driver] competently pulled the bus over to the side of the interstate. I was sitting towards the rear of the bus so I can't be certain exactly what transpired, but it appeared that after examining the bus, he called someone on his cellphone, perhaps his supervisor, I'm not sure. In any case, he remained on the phone on and off for most of the evening. At about midnight or so, another bus arrived and was able to take some, but not all, of our passengers. I remained with the original bus, which was having its tire changed by the tire mechanic. Because it was the innermost tire on the interstate side of the bus, it took quite some time to change. In the end, we got to Vancouver station at about 3:15 am, roughly 5 hours after the bus should have arrived.

I would like to comment about [Driver]. He seemed like a very conscientious person and dedicated driver, but he had a number of problems that evening. First, he did not seem to know what to do in a crisis event such as this. Do you provide your drivers with training on what to do in emergencies? If so, it did not seem to stick. He did not put out any flairs as far as I could tell, which made it more dangerous for us to sit in this bus on the side of the road while 70-mph traffic whizzed by. Are the buses equipped with flares? If not, they should be.

Second, [Driver] needs more training on how to handle angry customers. It was late at night and people were frazzled and at their wits' end, including him. His methods of handling angry complaints included making idle threats to call the police or not provide us with the latest information on the situation. These idle threats only served to make those who were angry even angrier. A better approach would have been to overlook the negative language and sympathize with the passengers' underlying frustrations. Instead he took their negative comments personally and escalated the situation instead of diffusing it.

But I do not think that [Driver] is a bad employee and I certainly do not advocate firing him or anything like that. He is a man of high moral character and commitment. I was traveling on the bus to visit my sister in Vancouver. I am from Tennessee and I have never been to her house before. [Driver] was committed to making sure that I arrived at my destination safely. I am firmly convinced that if my sister had not been there waiting for me, [Driver] would have stayed with me and done everything in his power to help me to find her, and not left my side until my sister showed up.

As for the bus situation, I am also unsure as to why it took so long to get the bus fixed. Assuming that [Driver] called the proper person, I don't know why it took such a long time to send someone out to fix the tire. Perhaps your company needs to reevaluate its logistics and emergency process. A faster response time would have helped things immensely.

Something I did not mention in my letter but that made the situation more interesting was that the woman in the seat in front of me was deaf and I wrote notes to her to keep her updated as to what was going on. It was kind of fun, but unfortunately my arm was already sore from lugging around my heavy bags and writing notes to her did not help matters. But I used my ergonomic pen and abbreviated as much as possible and was able to keep her updated.

Another fascinating addition to the communication situation was the woman in the seat in front of the deaf woman, who did not speak English. So she called a friend, perhaps the person who was going to pick her up at the Vancouver station, and then asked me to talk to her friend. I explained the situation to him, and he then explained it back to her in her native tongue, and all was well. Both this woman and the deaf woman took the other bus when it came.

By the time I got to Rachel's place, I had been awake for 24 hours. I've been in travel situations like that before, but it's more typical of traveling from Europe to North America, for example, rather than across the continent. And in the usual case, you go to bed early in the time zone in which you arrive. In this case, I got maybe 3 hours of sleep all together that night.

I'll leave the description of my time with Rachel, Scott, and Byron for another post. (Speaking of sleep, I should get to bed soon!)

*Any of my vast fan base attending this conference and/or based in this area? Leave me a comment -- maybe we could get together!

Things I've (Re)Learned Recently

• New Insights:
  
• Don't try to use a pastry bag if your hands really can't grip or squeeze very well anymore. By the time I made myself quit, my hands were shaking, and my hands and arms are still sore. I'm hoping that my new mechanical pastry bag will work better for me.
• Look out for slippery wet babies who hate baths, trying to make an escape from the bathtub -- he threw his leg over the side and nearly hit his head on the toilet, but luckily I caught him in time.
  
• Things I Should Have Known:
• Drinking more fluids throughout the day results in my head feeling better.
• I need sleep, even if my racing mind makes it hard to get enough sleep.
  
• Sleeping in a position with my left arm in a twist makes my arm hurt -- a lot!
  
• If I want something, I need to just take the initiative and do it, and ask people for help, if I need it. I feel so much better if I don't just let life happen to me.
• Things That Are Still Mysteries:
• Anybody have any idea what "Faaa" means? Vinny says it, usually when he's happy, but we don't know what it's supposed to be.
• Any tips on rinsing the hair of a little boy who is terrified of water being poured on his head are welcome. We got a special hair-rinsing pitcher that makes a seal over the forehead but he won't let us near him with the pitcher. I've tried dunking him backwards into the bathwater but you should see the terrified look on his face when I do that!
  

Judgment Day Program

While I was on travel, Nova had a show about the Dover, Pennsylvania Intelligent Design trial. I didn't get to watch it when it aired on television, but I did watch it this evening on my computer. I really enjoyed the program, and gained perspective about the trial and the situation that precipitated it.

It was obvious that the purpose of the members of the school board was to introduce this religiously-based "theory" into the classroom, and I am glad that Judge Jones, a George W. Bush appointee, saw through their shenanigans and ruled against teaching "Intelligent Design" in the classroom.

"Intelligent design" is not science. For starters, it is not testable, it is not falsifiable, and it does not contribute anything in the way of explanations of natural processes. If it has none of the characteristics of science, it cannot be science, and it does not belong in a science class.

Of course it is not unexpected that I would not be on the side of so-called intelligent design, which is simply Biblical literalism dressed in fancy clothes and wearing lipstick. Anyone who believes that the earth is on the order of thousands rather than billions of years old lacks mathematical perspective. And anyone who thinks that we are intelligently designed has evidently never suffered from ulnar nerve entrapment. Because let me tell you, having a major nerve basically exposed, sitting right below the skin of your elbow? That's fucking moronic. Even my orthopedist -- who is not, to the best of my knowledge, omniscient -- figured out a better place to put it.

Sorry to Disappear

Sorry to disappear on you like that... I've been very busy this week.

We went to Kentucky to see Grandma over the weekend. We left Friday afternoon after work. Jeff and I went over to see her on Saturday morning. I brought along my violin too, and played for Grandma for longer than I should have. But she enjoyed it, so it was worth it. I took some tylenol before we headed over there, and then when we got back to Dad and Marvis' house, I iced it down and kept taking tylenol and ibuprofen for the rest of the day.

In the afternoon, we took Vinny over to see her, and Dad and Marvis also came along with us. Grandma enjoyed seeing Vinny, although she kept trying to trick me into playing some more for her. But I really couldn't (I had left the violin at Dad and Marvis').

I learned that she was experiencing kidney failure, so I called my sister Laura and encouraged her to pay a visit ASAP, which she did. But apparently Grandma is still holding on, or at least I haven't heard the news yet.

I was really glad that we got a chance to see her one last time. She's a beautiful person and I am going to miss her a lot.

Elbow Reports

I went to the doctor on Tuesday, and he removed my cast and my stitches. I was fitted with a wrist brace, to help ease the strain on my recovering tendon in the event I decide to lift something, and sent home with a return appointment four weeks later.

Being cast-free was strange at first. After nearly two weeks of immobilization, I was surprised to find that I couldn't figure out how to bend my elbow. It was as if my arm was asleep or something. It was a challenge to bend my wrist, too. It was almost as if I was moving it for the first time or something.

My boss had joked that my arm in a cast would make me twice as smart, because I had only one arm to worry about, instead of two. In some ways, he was right. In these two weeks, my right-handwriting and right-handed-eating have improved dramatically. I automatically pick Vinny up one-handed. So I'm having to actively reincorporate my left side into my daily activities.

A big problem with reintegrating my left arm into my life is that it's stiff, slow, and painful. The pain is no higher in magnitude than the worst of the pain I experienced before surgery, but I've lost a lot of dexterity. On Tuesday night I was folding some laundry and my left hand was slowing me down to about a third of my pre-operation speed. It was hard to get it to go where I needed it to go. Also, I can't fully extend my elbow yet. Before the surgery it could hyperextend, and while I don't really mind if it doesn't get back to that point, I would like it to extend more than it does right now. Hopefully as I continue to use it, the tendons and muscles will stretch out and work better.

On Monday, I went to pick up my new computer and found out that the secretary for the group I'm about to join had the same surgery as me! She's the only person I've ever met who had this problem. She had the surgery about ten years ago and she said it really helped her. So this gives me hope that my elbow will recover from this!

More on My Arm

The arm is slowly but surely getting better. I am now able to dress myself and do almost anything I need to do, using my left arm in a support capacity. The only thing I really need assistance with is covering my cast with a plastic trash bag before I get into the shower.

I can button my pants now, but for the sake of simplicity, I've been wearing skirts all week so that my trips to the bathroom don't turn into major engineering projects. I've been able to put my hair back in a barrette too, with only a small degree of bodily contortion necessary to get my hair into the range of space where my left arm can go. Of course I still can't drive, either, but a neighbor from down the street has been giving me a ride to work.

My cast is very noticeable and attracts a lot of attention. Most people think that I've been in some sort of accident. I've also been getting a lot of the obligatory jokes about getting in a fight. On Monday, I was sitting in my future boss's office when one of my soon-to-be colleagues walked by. He stopped dead in his tracks and came into the boss's office with a horrified look on his face and asked me what had happened. He was relieved to find out that it was "just surgery."

Working with just one hand has been a challenge. I've recently regained enough strength in my fingers on my left hand to type, but the angle of my arm within the cast makes it difficult to type. But if I contort myself just right, I can type. I definitely can't write with my left hand, and in fact I had to sign an important document on Monday with my right hand. But I signed all our closing documents on our house right-handed too, so I guess that doesn't make a difference when it comes to legality.

The worst thing about it is the incessant itching. During a boring seminar, I discovered that the reason it itched so bad in one particular spot near the top of the cast was that the stitches ended there. So I reasoned that it might be a good idea to leave that particular itchy spot alone!

The cast is not a hard plaster cast, which is disappointing because I thought that it would be fun to get people to sign it. The part of the cast that goes along the outside of my arm (following the path of the ulnar nerve) has a long, reinforcing plaster strip between my arm dressings and the outer bandage, but along the inside of my arm there is only bandage.

I'm now taking extra-strength Tylenol during the day, and Percoset at night. This is an improvement, because it means that I am much more awake during the day. Percoset has had some weird effects on me, causing me to have some very strange and emotionally-intense dreams. I am very glad to be tapering off of it. I guess that some people abuse Percoset, but I don't think that I am at any risk of being one of those people.

I haven't really been in that much pain. I guess childbirth recalibrates the pain scale, but even so, I haven't been suffering at all. But the woman from the surgery center who called to check up on me earlier in the week was pretty surprised to learn that I had already returned to work. "She's a very determined woman," Jeff told her. Yes, I suppose I am!

Surgery Complete!

Just to let y'all know, the surgery is over and I'm doing fine. We left the surgery center after noon and I spent the afternoon sleeping. I'm on some pretty powerful pain killers and I feel a kind of three-second delay between when things happen and when my brain finishes processing them. So I think this is about it for this blog entry.

Forewarned Is Forearmed (but not Half an Octopus)

My surgery is this Thursday. I am feeling kind of nervous about it, because it is something new and scary and painful.

I went to the surgery center on Friday, and they explained to me how things worked. They also provided me with a list of things I'm supposed to do, like I'm not allowed to take any pain killers except Tylenol before the surgery, and I have to remove all jewelry, including my wedding rings, and leave them at home. Jeff has to stay in the vicinity during the whole thing, but he can keep Vinny there with him and concentrate on watching him instead of worrying about me. They give him one of those pager things like they give you at restaurants, that light up and vibrate when your table is ready (or, in this case, when your wife is ready to go home).

It helped me to feel a little less nervous to have all the rules and procedures explained to me. I was glad that they took the time to do that.

Arm Update

So I went to the orthopedist today. My nerve conduction study, which was a story unto itself, showed that my ulnar nerve is doing just fine.

I had the nerve conduction study done last Friday. It was scheduled for 9:30 a.m., so after I'd waited in the waiting room for over an hour, I went up to the front desk to make sure I hadn't been overlooked. The receptionist assured me that I hadn't been overlooked, but I didn't get in until after 11. Then, I had the first test, which I'd had before: electrodes placed in various places on my arm, producing a shock that caused my arm to involuntarily move. It was unpleasant but not too bad. Then, I had a second test that I'd never had. He stuck this huge needle into my muscles and then made me use the muscles. For example, you know the kind of fleshy part of your palm, below your thumb? Well, he stuck this needle into that part of my palm and then made me press my thumb and pinky together. The needle sticking into me was painful, but flexing the muscle with that needle in it was excruciating!

Anyhow, all that pain and suffering led to the conclusion that my nerve is fine. The x-rays of my elbow didn't show anything wrong, either. The doctor doesn't really know what my problem is exactly; I have a combination of medial epicondylitis and ulnar nerve entrapment. He knows he can relieve the ulnar nerve entrapment through surgery, but the medial epicondylitis he is less optimistic about. But we talked about it and he's going to do the surgery, because chances are that it won't make things worse, and it could, in fact, make things better in the medial epicondylitis department. If I have something like a cyst in my tendon, he can remove that.

I'll spend two weeks in a cast, and then another four weeks in a splint, and after that I should be almost back to full usage of my arm. I should regain full motion in my arm, and I might have a slight tingling in the skin where I was cut if he severs any of those nerves. But if all goes well, I should be feeling a lot better after it's over.

So, I have ulnar nerve entrapment surgery scheduled for Thursday, August 16. On the 10th, I'm supposed to go meet the anesthesiologist. I guess I'm going to be put under for this surgery. I'm kind of nervous about it but kind of excited too. Maybe there will be some relief from this pain!

Brief Update

Just to let y'all know, I'm still alive, just very busy yet. I am working on getting some performance runs done with a deadline of Monday, and whatever can go wrong seems to go wrong. Right now, now that I've figured out what all the other problems were, everybody and their mom decided to run jobs on the big machine, so I am sitting around waiting for my jobs to run. It is kind of frustrating because I am in a hurry. But so are they, I suppose.

Anyhow, I went to the orthopedist yesterday, so I thought I'd report on that. He decided that I need to have surgery. So he had some x-rays of my elbow taken, and he ordered a nerve conduction study for Friday. Then I will come back to see him again a week from Tuesday.

I feel relieved that my problem is being taken seriously, but of course I do not look forward to the pain associated with surgery and the long road to recovery.

Arm Woes

Zuska's post on being sick of being sick made me stop being in denial about the condition of my arm. For you new readers, I have a really bad case of medial epicondylitis (a.k.a. golfer's elbow) in my left (dominant) arm, along with some bonus pain up to my shoulder and down to my pinky finger, that has left me unable to do a lot of the activities I was once able to do. It was caused by a number of factors, including playing the violin since the age of three, practicing regularly for several hours at a time in elementary school; the fact that I also use that hand to write; the double-jointedness of my elbow; and probably some sort of natural predisposition to tendonitis.

I haven't played the violin for more than a year and a half, because I know that it would only make things worse. I do my best not to write with my left hand, either. I've learned to write with my right hand, although it's challenging and slow. I used to be fond of doing calligraphy, but that, like playing the violin, is right out. And a lot of crafts I used to enjoy (well, mostly sewing and cooking, I guess) are also difficult. I have been hesitant to get back into karate because I know that a lot of things in karate (e.g. punching, doing push-ups, etc.) are also damaging.

Last August, my orthopedist gave me another cortisone shot in the elbow, and it helped. But the effects are wearing off, and my daily activities are getting more difficult once again. The worst things for me to do involve gripping with my hand and rotating my arm. Driving the manual transmission car is becoming a challenge, because I can't keep my right hand on the wheel at all times. Opening doors is starting to cause me problems again. And picking up Vinny is becoming painful, especially because he's getting bigger and bigger.

My elbow doesn't hurt as much as it did last year at this time, but I wonder in part if this isn't due to the fact that my pain scale has been recalibrated. Especially because I have new problems, like pain in my pinky when I type. Typing never used to bother me, but now it's starting to.

I just hate to admit that I have a disability, but I decided that I really need some accommodations at work. I had an ergonomic evaluation last year, but I'm going to have another one on Monday, and also discuss the possibility of dictation software and any other tools that they think might help. I also need to make another appointment and go back to the orthopedist.

The worst part of having this problem is that I get so jealous of other people, who don't have to adapt every single activity to their disability. Should I hold the bowl with my left and beat the eggs with my right hand, or vice versa? Can I hold my purse and my lunch bag and open the door, all with my right hand?

So count your blessings if you can use both of your arms freely. I'd give my left arm for that!

I've Been Tagged!

So somebody (Twice Tenured) actually tagged me for a meme, scary but true! Here are the rules:

• I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
  
• Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
  
• People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
  
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
  
• Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Okay, so eight random facts/habits about myself.  Hmm... let me think... I am kind of boring so this is tricky.

1. I chew gum every afternoon, and my flavor of choice is wintergreen.  Jeff and I have a joke that all gum is actually wintergreen flavor, so when he pulls out his cinnamon gum, I always say, "Mmm... wintergreen!"
2. I love bad puns and what most people would call groaners.  Some people, such as my boss, appreciate this sort of humor.  Others don't, so I keep my humor to myself with them.
3. I had a pedicure from hell about a year ago, where the person giving the pedicure accidentally took off a chunk of my right heel.  The gash healed very slowly, and I still have a scar there that hurts if I rub it the wrong way.
4. Since we're on the subject of injuries, when I was in college I fractured my right radius (arm bone) right near the elbow by gracefully falling in the shower.  That was quite humiliating.  I tried to tell my friends that I'd done it during my Olympic ski trials but somehow nobody was convinced.
5. And since we're on the subject of elbows, I am double-jointed in the elbows.  I can open my arms out to more than 180º.  This is what caused my arm to break, because it bent backwards instead of bending the right way when I tried to catch myself.  It's also something that has exacerbated my very serious medial epicondylitis (golfer's elbow) in my left arm.
6. I keep all my fingernails except for my left thumbnail very short.  This is residual from playing the violin.  The only nail that could be long was the left thumbnail.  I used to keep fingernail clippers in my violin case just in case one of my nails had gotten too long.
7. I am one of a small minority of people at my workplace who dresses up to go to work.  I don't get too dressed up.  It's just that I never wear jeans and I always wear a blouse.  Most of "the guys" wear t-shirts.  I dress up because I feel like I have to look professional in order to be taken seriously.  Does it work? Maybe.
8. I've always been very tall.  I was taller than my teacher in the fifth grade.  By the age of twelve, I had grown to almost my adult height.  One nice thing about being tall is that I can reach the top shelf at the grocery store.  A woman asked me to reach something for her at the store the other day, and it felt good to be able to help.

Now I have to tag people.  Well, I'm definitely tagging my better half, my sister Rachel, my sister-in-law Ginger, my cousin Susie, my blogfriends Tony, Flicka Mawa, Doctor Pion, and anyone else who wants to play along.  

Busy B

I've had a busy week. Last week, I worked really hard at work. Then, on Friday, Laura came for a weekend visit. As a gift for Vinny, she came to help me sew for his nursery. It was a big help because thanks to my medial epicondylitis, I really can't do much sewing by hand. So we did the pieces that would require the most hand sewing first: the blanket and bumper. Thanks to Laura's excellent sewing skills, we finished both of those pieces. She also cut out all the pieces for all the other nursery pieces: the curtains, the valance, and the crib caddy. That was a big help because it's now a little bit hard for me to get on the floor, much less get up from the floor. So it's nice that all these pieces are ready for me to sew whenever I get to it.

The nursery theme is tropical fish. I looked at all the nursery themes at the store but was unhappy with them, so I decided to make my own instead. I found some great tropical fish fabric on the internet and went from there. The cost of the nursery is comparable to if we'd bought a set at the store, but it's more what we want. Plus it's made with love, so it's got to be better, right? :)

In addition to sewing, we also managed to talk a lot and have a good time. We took some time out to have fun, like going to what is the best Thai restaurant in East Tennessee, according to a friend of mine; eating delicious Mexican food cooked by Jody and delicious manicotti made by Jeff; and seeing a few sights around town. She also was kind enough to clean our gutters. I told her to come back any time!!!

I took Laura to the bus station early Monday morning, and then returned home and went back to bed. Then in the afternoon I went to the doctor because I was a little worried about the sudden swelling in my feet, hands, and face that I had developed. As it turns out, I'm just fine, but I wanted to make sure that I didn't have pre-eclampsia.

Today, they held a baby shower for me and Jeff at work. As part of the celebration, Jeff got to come to the shower. Since he had a visitor's pass that was good for the entire day, he just came to work with me and read while I worked. I took him to lunch to experience the disgusting cafeteria food, and after lunch we went to an awards ceremony during which my boss got an award for being a good mentor. I was not the one who nominated him for the award (it was a summer student), but I definitely think he is a very good boss and I can understand why the student nominated him.

The baby shower was at 2:00. Lois, our department secretary, was the one who organized it. She had evidently been listening to me when I babbled to her about the baby, because the shower theme was tropical fish, with a cake decorated with tropical fish, paper plates shaped like tropical fish, and a tropical fish tablecloth. All the attendees, except for one woman from upstairs, Lois, and myself, were men, and in fact some of them said it was the first baby shower they'd ever been to. Lois said they had to play one shower game, so she had a list of baby-related words that they had to unscramble, and whoever got the most in three minutes won a prize.

I think everybody got together and gave Lois a bunch of money and she went and bought a bunch of gifts for us. There was a lot of stuff, and it was really great. In addition, my boss gave us a gift card, which was really nice of him.

It made me feel really good to know that all those people cared enough about me to chip in for this baby shower. I haven't been here quite a year yet but I have made a lot of friends and put down some roots. I am always surprised to (re)discover that people really seem to like me, and today I was pleasantly reminded that I am not as unlikeable as I appear to myself.

At Arm's Length

Update about my left elbow and the shot I received on Tuesday:

I've been icing it down every night, just like the doctor told me to. I'm supposed to ice it down every night for at least ten nights. I also need to find my counterforce brace and wrist brace and wear them during the day when I'm using my left arm.

On Wednesday and Thursday, I had a tough time bending my elbow more than 90 degrees, which made life rather interesting. For example, I needed help fastening my bra. Doing my own hair was challenging too, so I had two really bad hair days. Another thing was that I couldn't move my arm fluidly enough to eat, so I had to eat completely right-handed.

Today it was less stiff but still not great. But I was able to get dressed on my own and I didn't look like I'd used a five-year-old as a hairdresser. I was even able to write a little bit with my left hand! So it is definitely getting better.

Still, I'm trying to take it easy with the left hand, because the shot won't last forever. I'm definitely going to need that elbow for much more important things, such as holding my baby, in roughly 60 days. So I'm still trying to eat right-handed and do as many things as I can without using my left hand.

Elbow Grease (part 2)

Today I saw the orthopedist again. I don't think that the occupational therapy had really helped very much. Unfortunately, there are not two parallel universes, one in which I had occupational therapy and another in which I did not, so I can't say for sure whether it helped. For all I know, I could be a lot worse now if I hadn't done it. In any case, things have not improved, so I went back for another appointment with the doctor. He decided to let me have another shot in the elbow. So I took him up on that.

Before the anesthetic wore off, it felt like I had a new elbow. Now it feels worse than it felt before the shot. But I know that after my elbow heals up from having a gigantic needle stuck in it, it will feel much better.

If it hurts more after the baby is born, he told me to come back again. He said it was reasonable to give me a shot at most once a year, but if I need it more often than that, then he really needs to try something else. He talked about surgery, and seemed open to the idea of doing it, after I was no longer pregnant and assuming the problem came back. He did remark that I had a pretty bad case of medial epicondylitis. Hopefully (worst case) this injection will tide me over for the next few months and then I can have the surgery if I need it.