Arm Woes

Zuska's post on being sick of being sick made me stop being in denial about the condition of my arm. For you new readers, I have a really bad case of medial epicondylitis (a.k.a. golfer's elbow) in my left (dominant) arm, along with some bonus pain up to my shoulder and down to my pinky finger, that has left me unable to do a lot of the activities I was once able to do. It was caused by a number of factors, including playing the violin since the age of three, practicing regularly for several hours at a time in elementary school; the fact that I also use that hand to write; the double-jointedness of my elbow; and probably some sort of natural predisposition to tendonitis.

I haven't played the violin for more than a year and a half, because I know that it would only make things worse. I do my best not to write with my left hand, either. I've learned to write with my right hand, although it's challenging and slow. I used to be fond of doing calligraphy, but that, like playing the violin, is right out. And a lot of crafts I used to enjoy (well, mostly sewing and cooking, I guess) are also difficult. I have been hesitant to get back into karate because I know that a lot of things in karate (e.g. punching, doing push-ups, etc.) are also damaging.

Last August, my orthopedist gave me another cortisone shot in the elbow, and it helped. But the effects are wearing off, and my daily activities are getting more difficult once again. The worst things for me to do involve gripping with my hand and rotating my arm. Driving the manual transmission car is becoming a challenge, because I can't keep my right hand on the wheel at all times. Opening doors is starting to cause me problems again. And picking up Vinny is becoming painful, especially because he's getting bigger and bigger.

My elbow doesn't hurt as much as it did last year at this time, but I wonder in part if this isn't due to the fact that my pain scale has been recalibrated. Especially because I have new problems, like pain in my pinky when I type. Typing never used to bother me, but now it's starting to.

I just hate to admit that I have a disability, but I decided that I really need some accommodations at work. I had an ergonomic evaluation last year, but I'm going to have another one on Monday, and also discuss the possibility of dictation software and any other tools that they think might help. I also need to make another appointment and go back to the orthopedist.

The worst part of having this problem is that I get so jealous of other people, who don't have to adapt every single activity to their disability. Should I hold the bowl with my left and beat the eggs with my right hand, or vice versa? Can I hold my purse and my lunch bag and open the door, all with my right hand?

So count your blessings if you can use both of your arms freely. I'd give my left arm for that!