Thursday, September 22, 2005

One Week in Tennessee: A Statistical Analysis

I have now been a resident of Tennessee for a week. I've noticed that some things are quite a bit different here than they were in Illinois. As an applied mathematician, I felt compelled to do some sort of mathematical analysis. Here goes:

Climate and Terrain
Percent foggy mornings: 100%
Ratio of wooded land (TN:IL): 4:1
Relative natural beauty (TN:IL): 8:1
Road Quality (TN:IL): 3:1
Ratio of visibility distance (TN:IL): 1:3
Time of sunrise: later than Illinois

Ratio of times called by pet name, e.g. honey, darling, young lady (TN:IL): 400:1
Ratio of times called ma'am (TN:IL): 100:1
Ratio of Darwin fish (TN:IL): 1:20
Number of times hit upon per week (TN:IL): 2:0
Effectiveness of eyelash-batting, feigned helplessness, etc. on a scale of 1 to 10 (TN:IL): 8:5

1 comment:

Laura said...

Ah, the cultural differences. That's right, use them to your advantage!

No Darwin fish, eh? Are there any of the kind that say "Gefilte" in them? Those are cute.