I have now been a resident of Tennessee for a week. I've noticed that some things are quite a bit different here than they were in Illinois. As an applied mathematician, I felt compelled to do some sort of mathematical analysis. Here goes:
Climate and Terrain
Percent foggy mornings: 100%
Ratio of wooded land (TN:IL): 4:1
Relative natural beauty (TN:IL): 8:1
Road Quality (TN:IL): 3:1
Ratio of visibility distance (TN:IL): 1:3
Time of sunrise: later than Illinois
Culture
Ratio of times called by pet name, e.g. honey, darling, young lady (TN:IL): 400:1
Ratio of times called ma'am (TN:IL): 100:1
Ratio of Darwin fish (TN:IL): 1:20
Number of times hit upon per week (TN:IL): 2:0
Effectiveness of eyelash-batting, feigned helplessness, etc. on a scale of 1 to 10 (TN:IL): 8:5
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1 comment:
Ah, the cultural differences. That's right, use them to your advantage!
No Darwin fish, eh? Are there any of the kind that say "Gefilte" in them? Those are cute.
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