- My supervisor's supervisor (hereafter referred to as Boss) and I were traveling on the same flights. Upon boarding the plane, I saw Boss was already on, so I made a comment to him about the legroom of his seat on the plane. His row-mate volunteered to trade seats with me in exchange for payment so I could sit next to Boss. I suggested he take it up with Boss, since he is richer than I am. The guy discounted monetary wealth as unimportant and waxed rhapsodic about happiness and the quality of life. At that point his words combined with the creepy vibes I'd been getting from him made me realize what type of payment he was thinking of, so I declined and disengaged from the conversation. My suspicions about his motives were confirmed when Boss told me the guy had invited us to join him in the airport lounge. (Hint: he was not interested in Boss's company.)
- Upon checking in at the hotel, I was asked if Boss and I were together. No, we are not. Also, he has kids who are my age.
- At a social event, I was mistaken for being married to another one of my colleagues. At least this person realized that I worked in the same place as my would-be spouse.
- Conference attendees get free breakfast at the hotel restaurant. This morning, I was charged for my breakfast, because I was obviously the spouse of one of the men I was eating with.
Showing posts with label women in science. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women in science. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Business Travel
I am on business travel this week, at a conference. Overall, I am having a lot of fun. But there are moments that are not fun, especially for a woman business traveler in a male-dominated field. Over the past four days, I have had the following experiences:
Monday, January 17, 2011
Adventures in Stupid Speakers
Last week, a friend of mine attended a computer science talk and was faced with the ever-ubiquitous Gratuitous Pr0n* Reference (GPR). It made me want to FEMINIST HULK smash something to hear of yet another incident of GPR.
I am not a fan of P..n, to say the least. I find it highly offensive and degrading to women (and to men, as well). The reasons I believe this are long and complicated, but suffice it to say that this is based upon long hours of thinking, and studying of feminist theory, as well as my own ideas about social justice. So when I encounter some jerk bringing a GPR into his talk, it makes me angry. But it also makes me feel small and self-conscious, because I am often only one of a few or even the only woman in the room. It reminds everyone that in our society, women are there for the pleasure of men, and makes them more conscious of the fact that I am a woman.
But even if you disagree with my assessment of P..n, there are a myriad of other reasons why incorporating a GPR into your talk is inappropriate. Here are a few:
I am not a fan of P..n, to say the least. I find it highly offensive and degrading to women (and to men, as well). The reasons I believe this are long and complicated, but suffice it to say that this is based upon long hours of thinking, and studying of feminist theory, as well as my own ideas about social justice. So when I encounter some jerk bringing a GPR into his talk, it makes me angry. But it also makes me feel small and self-conscious, because I am often only one of a few or even the only woman in the room. It reminds everyone that in our society, women are there for the pleasure of men, and makes them more conscious of the fact that I am a woman.
But even if you disagree with my assessment of P..n, there are a myriad of other reasons why incorporating a GPR into your talk is inappropriate. Here are a few:
- As the number of people in the audience grows, you are likely speaking to more and more survivors of sexual assault. Survivors of sexual assault are often triggered by GPRs. Why risk triggering someone's post-traumatic stress disorder for a cheap laugh? There are plenty of other ways to get your point across.**
- The best comedians are the ones who talk about humorous situations and use clever wordplay instead of degrading other people. P..n jokes generally boil down to a joke about exploiting other people, which is not a funny topic.***
- P..n is a controversial topic. Since the topic of your presentation is computer science, why mention something that is such a hot button for so many people? There are plenty of controversial views that I hold, such as my disbelief in a deity, but since I want my audience to learn about my topic and enjoy it as much as I do, I don't make jokes about stupid Christians or whatever. (Not only for that reason, but also because I don't think Christians are generally stupid -- they're just mistaken about a particular topic -- and I respect believers as fellow human beings so I find jokes insulting others' intelligence disdainful.)
I've often been accused of being "oversensitive." The problem here is not that I (or my friend) am oversensitive -- it's that others are not sensitive enough. It would be nice if we could just go to work and be scientists instead of having to endure all this crap.
* This word altered to protect my blog from purveyors of said items.
** If you can't think of alternatives, you are seriously lacking in imagination and I feel quite sorry for you.
*** It is the same reason that jokes about minorities, the disabled, and other marginalized people are not funny. But somehow, when it's about p..n, this no longer applies in many people's minds.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Breaking the Glass Ceiling and Falling off the Glass Cliff
I found myself nodding in agreement with every sentence as I read this article on diversity in the workplace. The article at first seems negative (listing bullets on "what not to do" rather than "what to do"), but within the sarcastic wrapping there are plenty of positive suggestions to be found. I showed it to a colleague of mine and together we identified workplace initiatives or situations that fit every single "what not to do" bullet in the article. I saw that it was adapted from a book and I'm thinking I should buy a pallet of the books and give it out like candy to every high-level executive across the entire country.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Summer Student Spectacular
I am going to have a veritable entourage of students working for me this summer. The graduate student who worked for me last summer is coming back again. I acquired an undergraduate by being the only person who had an idea for a project for him. And if I can get all the paperwork done, I'm also going to have a 16-year-old high school student.
The grad and the undergrad are going to work on performance modeling for my big project. The high schooler is going to work on some visualizations of nuclei. I'm going to supervise all three of them while doing my regular job.
The way I got the high school student is kind of a long story. I wanted to bring the graduate student in through a different program than the one she came in under last year. The only program I could find that would pay her what I felt she deserved to be paid was in a somewhat unrelated engineering field. All the other programs would have paid her something like $400 less per month than what she made last summer. Luckily, one of the codes that we are analyzing for my big project is in that engineering field, so I asked the PI of that code if he would be willing to be her official mentor on paper and let me supervise her in practice. He said of course he would be willing to help like that, so this is how we got her in and at a fair pay rate.
But while we were talking, he told me about a girl who he had coached in soccer, and how she was really interested in science and asked me if I'd be willing to be her mentor. I said sure, with the caveat that I had to find some funding. I didn't really think too much about it though, until last week when the girl emailed me to express her interest. Then I had to find something for her to do. So I talked with another of my collaborators and found a project and some funding.
Now I just have to go through a whole lot of extra paperwork because she is a minor. I have to have a special inspection of the workplace, develop an individual, restricted work plan just for her, and also verify that this is not a case of nepotism (fortunately, it is not). But, if I can successfully jump through all these hoops in a timely manner, I think this will be a really good experience for her, and we'll have some fantastic nuclear visualizations!
The grad and the undergrad are going to work on performance modeling for my big project. The high schooler is going to work on some visualizations of nuclei. I'm going to supervise all three of them while doing my regular job.
The way I got the high school student is kind of a long story. I wanted to bring the graduate student in through a different program than the one she came in under last year. The only program I could find that would pay her what I felt she deserved to be paid was in a somewhat unrelated engineering field. All the other programs would have paid her something like $400 less per month than what she made last summer. Luckily, one of the codes that we are analyzing for my big project is in that engineering field, so I asked the PI of that code if he would be willing to be her official mentor on paper and let me supervise her in practice. He said of course he would be willing to help like that, so this is how we got her in and at a fair pay rate.
But while we were talking, he told me about a girl who he had coached in soccer, and how she was really interested in science and asked me if I'd be willing to be her mentor. I said sure, with the caveat that I had to find some funding. I didn't really think too much about it though, until last week when the girl emailed me to express her interest. Then I had to find something for her to do. So I talked with another of my collaborators and found a project and some funding.
Now I just have to go through a whole lot of extra paperwork because she is a minor. I have to have a special inspection of the workplace, develop an individual, restricted work plan just for her, and also verify that this is not a case of nepotism (fortunately, it is not). But, if I can successfully jump through all these hoops in a timely manner, I think this will be a really good experience for her, and we'll have some fantastic nuclear visualizations!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Important Message to D00dly D00dz
Dear D00dly D00dz,
If you see two or more women talking to each other in a professional setting, it is never, ever appropriate to ask them what they are plotting, or to remark that seeing them scheming together makes you nervous.
Amazingly enough, sometimes women scientists get together and talk about (gasp) Science! I'd bet you a handshake and a case of beer that before you stopped by to provide your mansplainations you were not even on their radar, but that your asshattery has now been duly noted. Any political capital you had with these women has now evaporated.
With all the love you deserve,
Rebecca
If you see two or more women talking to each other in a professional setting, it is never, ever appropriate to ask them what they are plotting, or to remark that seeing them scheming together makes you nervous.
Amazingly enough, sometimes women scientists get together and talk about (gasp) Science! I'd bet you a handshake and a case of beer that before you stopped by to provide your mansplainations you were not even on their radar, but that your asshattery has now been duly noted. Any political capital you had with these women has now evaporated.
With all the love you deserve,
Rebecca
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The Diversity Tax
There is a tax that I pay for being a woman in computational science. Compared to my (majority) male colleagues, I am disproportionately called upon to do outreach activities and participate in photo shoots. So I can relate to what Female Science Professor is talking about when she seeks "diversity help." Although I've never been explicitly asked to do something for the sake of diversity, it has always been implicit in the invitation.
Many of my fellow "diverse" colleagues (and this group includes not just women, but African-American, Hispanic, and Native American men as well) resent this tax upon their time. I can see where they're coming from. After all, while I'm out talking to middle schoolers, all the dudez are actually getting some work done. It's true, we have to do these types of outreach activities on a volunteer basis -- we get no credit at work for helping to mold the minds of the next generation. Management loves that we do it, as long as it doesn't interfere with the day job.
I think this is a shame. And when I am in management, I will work to change that attitude and actually provide some concrete means of crediting those who go out and make a difference in the community.
In the meantime, though, I see the need for those of us who are not stereotypical scientists to do outreach. I don't let it take over my life, but I do enjoy speaking at middle schools and giving machine room tours to young people, especially girls. It is every citizen's duty to give something back to society, and I'm glad that I can contribute by being a role model for the next generation of scientists, and help make science that much more inviting to those who don't fit the stereotypes.
Many of my fellow "diverse" colleagues (and this group includes not just women, but African-American, Hispanic, and Native American men as well) resent this tax upon their time. I can see where they're coming from. After all, while I'm out talking to middle schoolers, all the dudez are actually getting some work done. It's true, we have to do these types of outreach activities on a volunteer basis -- we get no credit at work for helping to mold the minds of the next generation. Management loves that we do it, as long as it doesn't interfere with the day job.
I think this is a shame. And when I am in management, I will work to change that attitude and actually provide some concrete means of crediting those who go out and make a difference in the community.
In the meantime, though, I see the need for those of us who are not stereotypical scientists to do outreach. I don't let it take over my life, but I do enjoy speaking at middle schools and giving machine room tours to young people, especially girls. It is every citizen's duty to give something back to society, and I'm glad that I can contribute by being a role model for the next generation of scientists, and help make science that much more inviting to those who don't fit the stereotypes.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Math is Lucrative... Let's Be Computer Engineers!
I am pretty excited about the fact that Barbie's 126th career is Computer Engineer. I'm with blogfriend PhizzleDizzle, I'm happy that Barbie is becoming one of us. I'm more of the old school nerd than Barbie (or PhizzleDizzle, for that matter!) -- fashion is really not my thing. I might wear the shirt Barbie's sporting but only if it came in a looser cut, and even then, not to work.
The best thing about Computer Engineer Barbie, from my perspective, is that she's showing girls that they too can succeed in computer science. Computer scientists don't have to be male, they don't even have to be nerdy -- they just need to have an interest in computers/computing and follow their passion.
I for one am looking forward to the day that Barbie comes and installs our next supercomputer. In the meantime, I might just have to preorder her and display her prominently on my desk when she arrives late this year.
The best thing about Computer Engineer Barbie, from my perspective, is that she's showing girls that they too can succeed in computer science. Computer scientists don't have to be male, they don't even have to be nerdy -- they just need to have an interest in computers/computing and follow their passion.
I for one am looking forward to the day that Barbie comes and installs our next supercomputer. In the meantime, I might just have to preorder her and display her prominently on my desk when she arrives late this year.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
A Blonde Walked into an HPC Article...
I like to keep up on the latest news in high-performance computing (HPC) as much as any other computational scientist, but there are some websites that evidently don't want me as a reader. I don't fit their model of what it means to be a scientist, you see. I read this particularly problematic article and had to check my computer's date function to confirm that it is 2009, despite troubling statements like
Really, Turd Biscuit? Is it necessary to insult 50% of the population (because blonde jokes are not about people with light hair, they're about women), and impugn the abilities of accomplished women?
It is so depressing that these types of "jokes" are still an acceptable type of "humor." When I complained about the blonde "jokes" contained in this article on another forum, I was soon accused of being too uptight and having no sense of humor.
I knew when I did it that I was opening myself up to criticism, and I was counting down the minutes before somebody called me a humorless feminist. I did not need to wait long. I gave a short reply to that man, but here's a more in-depth explanation of why I object to these so-called jokes.
First, the stereotype that women use men to do their homework for them is so tired, untrue, and insulting to everyone involved. It's insulting to me and women like me, because it places doubt in people's minds about our abilities -- maybe I manipulated a man to do my work for me, and am actually incompetent! It also provides space in men's minds to think it's actually appropriate to ask whether I got my job because of my husband, upon meeting me for the first time.*
It's insulting to men, too, suggesting that they are so desperate to get women's affections that they will compromise their academic integrity, or so socially inept, that they don't know when they're being taken advantage of. Either way, it's an insulting insinuation.
Second, these types of jokes in a professional setting (and I would classify reporting about a new supercomputer on "one of the world's biggest online tech publications" as a professional setting) serve to remind the targets of the joke that they don't belong in this field. Thanks a lot for letting me know I'm not one of the nerds, for reminding me how different I am from everyone else in HPC, and for reminding me that some people think I'm too stupid to do my own work. That helps bolster my confidence and builds trust between me and my male colleagues.
Finally, humor legitimizes prejudices. Sexist humor acts as a 'releaser' of prejudices, according to a study by Professor Thomas E. Ford of Western Carolina University et al. The presence of sexist humor in a social environment creates an environment where men with sexist beliefs feel free to act upon those beliefs, because they believe that within that environment, sexist behavior is acceptable.
In their experiment, they asked men to imagine that they were members of a workplace. They then had the men read either sexist jokes, neutral jokes, or sexist statements, and subsequently asked them how much they would donate for a women's organization. Ford and his team found that "men with a high level of sexism were less likely to donate to the women's organization after reading sexist jokes, but not after reading either sexist statements or neutral jokes." Similarly, after viewing sexist skits disparaging women, the men allocated larger funding cuts to women's organizations in the hypothetical workplace. The studies show that "humorous disparagement creates the perception of a shared standard of tolerance of discrimination that may guide behavior when people believe others feel the same way."
I'm sure there are people out there who, even after reading this, would accuse me of political correctness. Sure, you may have the right to free speech, but how about tempering that freedom with respect for your fellow human beings? Treating others with respect is not such a huge constraint. Or, if the only way you know how to talk is by using sexist tropes, then you need psychological help.
Please, people, it's not hard to come up with inoffensive metaphors. I can think of so many better ways that he could have expressed his point, that wouldn't be offensive to anyone! What about Dilbert and the pointy-haired boss? That would have expressed the exact same dynamic, minus the antipathy for women. Or a brain and muscles. The brain tells the muscles what to do, and they have to do all the actual heavy lifting! Those are the first two jokes I thought of, in under 30 seconds, and they disparage no one.
* Yes, this happened to me. I should have either asked if he'd gotten his job because of his wife, or told him that I got my job through the powerful stay-at-home-dad cabal, but I was too stunned to think of those replies at the time.
Each Opteron core gets its own Cell chip to do its math for it, like the blonde who isn't dating the nerd but the nerd thinks is...and
What Jaguar needs is some powerful nerds so its blondes can run code, and it looks like the next generation of machines at the supercomputer center are going to be using the Fermi GPUs.
Really, Turd Biscuit? Is it necessary to insult 50% of the population (because blonde jokes are not about people with light hair, they're about women), and impugn the abilities of accomplished women?
It is so depressing that these types of "jokes" are still an acceptable type of "humor." When I complained about the blonde "jokes" contained in this article on another forum, I was soon accused of being too uptight and having no sense of humor.
I knew when I did it that I was opening myself up to criticism, and I was counting down the minutes before somebody called me a humorless feminist. I did not need to wait long. I gave a short reply to that man, but here's a more in-depth explanation of why I object to these so-called jokes.
First, the stereotype that women use men to do their homework for them is so tired, untrue, and insulting to everyone involved. It's insulting to me and women like me, because it places doubt in people's minds about our abilities -- maybe I manipulated a man to do my work for me, and am actually incompetent! It also provides space in men's minds to think it's actually appropriate to ask whether I got my job because of my husband, upon meeting me for the first time.*
It's insulting to men, too, suggesting that they are so desperate to get women's affections that they will compromise their academic integrity, or so socially inept, that they don't know when they're being taken advantage of. Either way, it's an insulting insinuation.
Second, these types of jokes in a professional setting (and I would classify reporting about a new supercomputer on "one of the world's biggest online tech publications" as a professional setting) serve to remind the targets of the joke that they don't belong in this field. Thanks a lot for letting me know I'm not one of the nerds, for reminding me how different I am from everyone else in HPC, and for reminding me that some people think I'm too stupid to do my own work. That helps bolster my confidence and builds trust between me and my male colleagues.
Finally, humor legitimizes prejudices. Sexist humor acts as a 'releaser' of prejudices, according to a study by Professor Thomas E. Ford of Western Carolina University et al. The presence of sexist humor in a social environment creates an environment where men with sexist beliefs feel free to act upon those beliefs, because they believe that within that environment, sexist behavior is acceptable.
In their experiment, they asked men to imagine that they were members of a workplace. They then had the men read either sexist jokes, neutral jokes, or sexist statements, and subsequently asked them how much they would donate for a women's organization. Ford and his team found that "men with a high level of sexism were less likely to donate to the women's organization after reading sexist jokes, but not after reading either sexist statements or neutral jokes." Similarly, after viewing sexist skits disparaging women, the men allocated larger funding cuts to women's organizations in the hypothetical workplace. The studies show that "humorous disparagement creates the perception of a shared standard of tolerance of discrimination that may guide behavior when people believe others feel the same way."
I'm sure there are people out there who, even after reading this, would accuse me of political correctness. Sure, you may have the right to free speech, but how about tempering that freedom with respect for your fellow human beings? Treating others with respect is not such a huge constraint. Or, if the only way you know how to talk is by using sexist tropes, then you need psychological help.
Please, people, it's not hard to come up with inoffensive metaphors. I can think of so many better ways that he could have expressed his point, that wouldn't be offensive to anyone! What about Dilbert and the pointy-haired boss? That would have expressed the exact same dynamic, minus the antipathy for women. Or a brain and muscles. The brain tells the muscles what to do, and they have to do all the actual heavy lifting! Those are the first two jokes I thought of, in under 30 seconds, and they disparage no one.
* Yes, this happened to me. I should have either asked if he'd gotten his job because of his wife, or told him that I got my job through the powerful stay-at-home-dad cabal, but I was too stunned to think of those replies at the time.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Letters to Our Daughters
The ever-fabulous Dr. Isis has started a brilliant project called "Letters to Our Daughters," in which senior women scientists write letters of advice to their scientific daughters. If you haven't been reading these yet, I'd encourage you to do so.
So far there have been four outstanding letters, with more to come. I especially enjoyed the first one, from Dr. Pascale Lane, about being a "bitch." My experience supports what she's saying, too. If I'm being called a "bitch," it probably means I'm doing something right!
So far there have been four outstanding letters, with more to come. I especially enjoyed the first one, from Dr. Pascale Lane, about being a "bitch." My experience supports what she's saying, too. If I'm being called a "bitch," it probably means I'm doing something right!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Motherhood and Identity
Dr. Isis has a really profound post up on motherhood and maintaining your identity.
How can you make it as a successful scientist and a successful mother? There are a lot of women (as Dr. Isis describes in her post) who completely separate the work and personal spheres, have no pictures of their children up in the office, and deny that there is any difference between their current state of job devotion and their pre-children state.
Personally, I couldn't do that if I tried. My son is such an important part of my life that I can't imagine shutting down that part of my brain during the day. I do tell people at work what he's been up to lately, but I don't think I'm one of those people who can talk about nothing else. I mostly just recount some amusing vignettes and leave it at that.
He's not the first thing I talk about to everyone I meet at work, but if you work with me for long enough, you'll figure it out. I have a mini-shrine of baby pictures at my desk. My computer's screensaver is pictures of Vinny. And to anyone who asks I will tell a funny story about him.
Whether I like it or not, Vinny has changed the type of person I am, and I couldn't go back to pre-baby even if I wanted to. Like any major life event, the entrance of this little person into my life has been life-changing. I have a much different perspective now -- I don't sweat the small stuff so much, I feel more confident, and I'm a better leader.
Furthermore, I don't want to go back to that state. This has been a transformation for the better. He is an inspiration and an encouragement to me at work as well as at home.
I'd like to be an inspiration to other women who want to be scientists and mothers. Can you do both jobs well? Sure, it's just that you have to determine your priorities and be flexible about things that don't directly help you meet your goals. For example, having a spotless house is nice, but if cleaning takes up so much time that you don't have enough time to spend with your child, then adjusting your expectations may be a good idea.
Anyhow, I thought that Dr. Isis' post was really good and I'm glad that she is also keeping her scientist and mother identities integrated.
How can you make it as a successful scientist and a successful mother? There are a lot of women (as Dr. Isis describes in her post) who completely separate the work and personal spheres, have no pictures of their children up in the office, and deny that there is any difference between their current state of job devotion and their pre-children state.
Personally, I couldn't do that if I tried. My son is such an important part of my life that I can't imagine shutting down that part of my brain during the day. I do tell people at work what he's been up to lately, but I don't think I'm one of those people who can talk about nothing else. I mostly just recount some amusing vignettes and leave it at that.
He's not the first thing I talk about to everyone I meet at work, but if you work with me for long enough, you'll figure it out. I have a mini-shrine of baby pictures at my desk. My computer's screensaver is pictures of Vinny. And to anyone who asks I will tell a funny story about him.
Whether I like it or not, Vinny has changed the type of person I am, and I couldn't go back to pre-baby even if I wanted to. Like any major life event, the entrance of this little person into my life has been life-changing. I have a much different perspective now -- I don't sweat the small stuff so much, I feel more confident, and I'm a better leader.
Furthermore, I don't want to go back to that state. This has been a transformation for the better. He is an inspiration and an encouragement to me at work as well as at home.
I'd like to be an inspiration to other women who want to be scientists and mothers. Can you do both jobs well? Sure, it's just that you have to determine your priorities and be flexible about things that don't directly help you meet your goals. For example, having a spotless house is nice, but if cleaning takes up so much time that you don't have enough time to spend with your child, then adjusting your expectations may be a good idea.
Anyhow, I thought that Dr. Isis' post was really good and I'm glad that she is also keeping her scientist and mother identities integrated.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Scientiae Carnival Posted
For those of you who are fans of hot science, might I recommend the latest installment of the Scientiae Carnival? Dr. Isis has carefully and lovingly included many very fascinating posts detailing the hotness of many diverse scientific areas. Thanks, Dr. Isis, for such a great Scientiae Carnival!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Women, Don't Worry Your Pretty Little Heads over Science!
Hey girls, I don't know if you've heard, but we're underrepresented in science because we're not interested in it! Anybody who says that they've experienced discrimination or bias of any kind, based on their gender, is obviously full of it! Why, there was even a guy this one time who got mistreated by a female scientist. See! It's not just men who treat women badly -- scientists are equal-opportunity assholes!
Ladies, you are nothing but whiners! If you just acted more like men, you'd succeed in science! But since you're too interested in people and taking care of babies, you purposefully relegate yourselves to underpaid service jobs. It's your choice and you should be happy with it, gosh darn it!
As a woman scientist, I can tell you that both of the above-linked articles are based in fantasy. There is plenty of bias against women entering the scientific fields. Some of it is overt (e.g., my high school classmates telling me that I belonged in the kitchen rather than the lab), but most of it today is more subtle (e.g., some interesting comments from my professional peers who are trying to be inclusive but instead end up saying things that highlight their biases). Any woman who makes it to my level and claims to have never experienced sexism or bias is either extremely lucky or extremely unobservant. I wouldn't call myself the world's most observant person, but even I, who have been fortunate enough to work with some of the kindest and most fair-minded people on this earth, have experienced sexism -- even from those very kind and fair-minded people. We're all boiled in the broth of our patriarchal society, whether we agree with its tenets or not.
And even I have behaved in a sexist manner towards another woman. Once, when I was giving a tour, there were two physics professors taking the tour, one male and one female. I realized halfway through my presentation that I was directing my presentation to him and not to her. So it's not just men oppressing women; it's something that has seeped into our very subconscious thanks to our exposure to society's sexism.
Performing an act of sexism does not make one a bad person; it makes one a human person. After I saw what I was doing, I made an effort to direct the presentation more towards her interests for a while. And I resolved to be more careful about my behavior in the future. Doing something sexist is not the problem; what you do after you realize that you've been sexist is what matters the most. If I had realized that I'd been sexist and not analyzed or adjusted my actions, then I would have a problem. And I think that getting the science establishment to recognize its complicity in sexism and to make a change is what is most crucial in opening the STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) fields to women and underrepresented minorities.
Many non-scientists have this vision of the solitary scientist, a maverick in the laboratory, whose genius must not be constrained by pesky rules of fairness and the need to respect the dignity of others. But in reality, science is a very cooperative field. Collaborative efforts result in 99.9% of the progress in scientific research. And in order to cooperate, certain rules of human interaction must be followed.
Those rules include treating others with dignity, seeing them as colleagues rather than indentured servants or sex objects, and using your position of authority (as a senior scientist over a student or postdoc, for example) to lead as a mentor, rather than to force, intimidate, or abuse. These are good principles to follow because in the long term, they will provide better results than the alternative.
In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen R. Covey discusses production and production capacity. Let's say you buy a brand-new car, which you can use to drive around. (You might think of it as producing transportation.) If you drive it a lot and never do anything to maintain it, then it will break down. The oil will gum up, the engine will lose compression, and your source of production will be no more. If, on the other hand, you periodically get its oil changed, get it tuned up, etc., then your car will last a lot longer and you will get a lot more use out of the money you spent to buy it. The production capacity of your car will remain high for longer than it would if you neglected it.
The same concept applies to people. You can run your employee ragged, and squeeze every last drop of effort from their hide; or, you can give them the opportunity to rejuvenate and remain mentally and physically healthy, and reap more production from their efforts in the long term. In the first case, you may get more production in the short-term, but in the latter case, you will end up with more production in total.
Another facet of the misperceptions about scientists is the erroneous belief that scientists should fit a certain mold that is incompatible with society's constructs of femininity. If you're a "real woman," then you can't be a scientist; if you're a scientist, then you can't be a "real woman."
The idea that scientists must fit a certain mold is what makes it particularly challenging for women to break into the STEM fields. But when those stereotypes are lifted, and a better climate for women is implemented, women meet with success. Here's an example from my own field, computer science.
In 1995, women made up an abysmal 7% of undergraduates admitted to the computer science major at Carnegie-Mellon University. By the year 2000, women made up more than thirty percent of undergraduate computer science majors. What accounts for this drastic rise in female enrollment? After discovering that prior programming experience had no correlation with subsequent performance in the computer science major, the admissions office dropped the programming experience requirements and instead sought students with high performance in math and science classes. And beginning in 1999, the admissions officers began to look for creativity and leadership skills, in addition to the academic criteria.
These new criteria resulted in a very different pool of students; in addition to the admission of more women, it also resulted in a more diverse male population. The admitted students still had exceptional SAT scores and high GPAs, but they were perhaps more well-rounded than previous classes. Realizing that many of these students had little or no computer experience, the department began offering computer science majors different tracks aimed at students with different levels of expertise. The tracks would converge by the end of the second year, at which point all students would take the same upper-division coursework.
Carnegie-Mellon also implemented many outreach programs aimed at computer science teachers and high school students. One program, which provided workshops on advanced placement computer science for teachers, also provided training on gender issues. As a result, the teachers became more aware of gender issues in the classroom and also encouraged their female students to attend Carnegie-Mellon.
Once the students arrived at Carnegie-Mellon, however, retention became a problem, because female students did not have equal access to resources. For example, fraternities and sororities often keep files of old exams, but sororities were much less likely to have files for computer science courses. So an organization for women in computer science was formed, complete with a Big Sister program, research opportunities, an online advice network, and a schedule of faculty/student events.
Nowadays, women students make up a significant fraction of the undergraduate class at Carnegie-Mellon, and go on to happy and productive careers. So it seems like a no-brainer that changing the classroom environment is a good idea.
Then why do some people object so strongly to the encouragement and inclusion of women in STEM? So many people fear that "underqualified" women (or minorities) will take the place of men in prestigious schools, and they all know a friend of a friend who was screwed over that way. This objection boils down to the scarcity vs. abundance mentality. The truth of the matter is that there is a need in this country for as many STEM professionals as we can muster. A prominent group of businesses called for a doubling of STEM graduates within the next decade, and we are not delivering. We need these new scientists to replace the ones that are retiring, but more importantly, to solve the real global crises we face today in energy, climate, resource management, and more!
References
Women in Computer Science at Carnegie-Mellon:
These papers can be obtained from the following link: http://women.cs.cmu.edu/Resources/Papers/
Other Links:
Ladies, you are nothing but whiners! If you just acted more like men, you'd succeed in science! But since you're too interested in people and taking care of babies, you purposefully relegate yourselves to underpaid service jobs. It's your choice and you should be happy with it, gosh darn it!
As a woman scientist, I can tell you that both of the above-linked articles are based in fantasy. There is plenty of bias against women entering the scientific fields. Some of it is overt (e.g., my high school classmates telling me that I belonged in the kitchen rather than the lab), but most of it today is more subtle (e.g., some interesting comments from my professional peers who are trying to be inclusive but instead end up saying things that highlight their biases). Any woman who makes it to my level and claims to have never experienced sexism or bias is either extremely lucky or extremely unobservant. I wouldn't call myself the world's most observant person, but even I, who have been fortunate enough to work with some of the kindest and most fair-minded people on this earth, have experienced sexism -- even from those very kind and fair-minded people. We're all boiled in the broth of our patriarchal society, whether we agree with its tenets or not.
And even I have behaved in a sexist manner towards another woman. Once, when I was giving a tour, there were two physics professors taking the tour, one male and one female. I realized halfway through my presentation that I was directing my presentation to him and not to her. So it's not just men oppressing women; it's something that has seeped into our very subconscious thanks to our exposure to society's sexism.
Performing an act of sexism does not make one a bad person; it makes one a human person. After I saw what I was doing, I made an effort to direct the presentation more towards her interests for a while. And I resolved to be more careful about my behavior in the future. Doing something sexist is not the problem; what you do after you realize that you've been sexist is what matters the most. If I had realized that I'd been sexist and not analyzed or adjusted my actions, then I would have a problem. And I think that getting the science establishment to recognize its complicity in sexism and to make a change is what is most crucial in opening the STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) fields to women and underrepresented minorities.
Many non-scientists have this vision of the solitary scientist, a maverick in the laboratory, whose genius must not be constrained by pesky rules of fairness and the need to respect the dignity of others. But in reality, science is a very cooperative field. Collaborative efforts result in 99.9% of the progress in scientific research. And in order to cooperate, certain rules of human interaction must be followed.
Those rules include treating others with dignity, seeing them as colleagues rather than indentured servants or sex objects, and using your position of authority (as a senior scientist over a student or postdoc, for example) to lead as a mentor, rather than to force, intimidate, or abuse. These are good principles to follow because in the long term, they will provide better results than the alternative.
In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen R. Covey discusses production and production capacity. Let's say you buy a brand-new car, which you can use to drive around. (You might think of it as producing transportation.) If you drive it a lot and never do anything to maintain it, then it will break down. The oil will gum up, the engine will lose compression, and your source of production will be no more. If, on the other hand, you periodically get its oil changed, get it tuned up, etc., then your car will last a lot longer and you will get a lot more use out of the money you spent to buy it. The production capacity of your car will remain high for longer than it would if you neglected it.
The same concept applies to people. You can run your employee ragged, and squeeze every last drop of effort from their hide; or, you can give them the opportunity to rejuvenate and remain mentally and physically healthy, and reap more production from their efforts in the long term. In the first case, you may get more production in the short-term, but in the latter case, you will end up with more production in total.
Another facet of the misperceptions about scientists is the erroneous belief that scientists should fit a certain mold that is incompatible with society's constructs of femininity. If you're a "real woman," then you can't be a scientist; if you're a scientist, then you can't be a "real woman."
The idea that scientists must fit a certain mold is what makes it particularly challenging for women to break into the STEM fields. But when those stereotypes are lifted, and a better climate for women is implemented, women meet with success. Here's an example from my own field, computer science.
In 1995, women made up an abysmal 7% of undergraduates admitted to the computer science major at Carnegie-Mellon University. By the year 2000, women made up more than thirty percent of undergraduate computer science majors. What accounts for this drastic rise in female enrollment? After discovering that prior programming experience had no correlation with subsequent performance in the computer science major, the admissions office dropped the programming experience requirements and instead sought students with high performance in math and science classes. And beginning in 1999, the admissions officers began to look for creativity and leadership skills, in addition to the academic criteria.
These new criteria resulted in a very different pool of students; in addition to the admission of more women, it also resulted in a more diverse male population. The admitted students still had exceptional SAT scores and high GPAs, but they were perhaps more well-rounded than previous classes. Realizing that many of these students had little or no computer experience, the department began offering computer science majors different tracks aimed at students with different levels of expertise. The tracks would converge by the end of the second year, at which point all students would take the same upper-division coursework.
Carnegie-Mellon also implemented many outreach programs aimed at computer science teachers and high school students. One program, which provided workshops on advanced placement computer science for teachers, also provided training on gender issues. As a result, the teachers became more aware of gender issues in the classroom and also encouraged their female students to attend Carnegie-Mellon.
Once the students arrived at Carnegie-Mellon, however, retention became a problem, because female students did not have equal access to resources. For example, fraternities and sororities often keep files of old exams, but sororities were much less likely to have files for computer science courses. So an organization for women in computer science was formed, complete with a Big Sister program, research opportunities, an online advice network, and a schedule of faculty/student events.
Nowadays, women students make up a significant fraction of the undergraduate class at Carnegie-Mellon, and go on to happy and productive careers. So it seems like a no-brainer that changing the classroom environment is a good idea.
Then why do some people object so strongly to the encouragement and inclusion of women in STEM? So many people fear that "underqualified" women (or minorities) will take the place of men in prestigious schools, and they all know a friend of a friend who was screwed over that way. This objection boils down to the scarcity vs. abundance mentality. The truth of the matter is that there is a need in this country for as many STEM professionals as we can muster. A prominent group of businesses called for a doubling of STEM graduates within the next decade, and we are not delivering. We need these new scientists to replace the ones that are retiring, but more importantly, to solve the real global crises we face today in energy, climate, resource management, and more!
References
Women in Computer Science at Carnegie-Mellon:
These papers can be obtained from the following link: http://women.cs.cmu.edu/Resources/Papers/
- The Evolving Culture of Computing
- Transforming the Culture of Computing at Carnegie-Mellon
- Women in Computer Science: The Carnegie-Mellon Experience
Other Links:
- Stereotype Propagation in the New York Times by ScienceWoman
- Title IX and Women in Science, Again by Peggy at Women in Science -- full of links to other good articles
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
My Space-Time Continuum
The theme for this month's Scientiae Carnival is Added Weight. The following post was inspired by that theme and the further elaboration upon it in Zuska's call for posts.
I have always been tall. By the time I was in fifth grade, I was taller than my teacher. I outgrew my mother and my older sister by the age of 12. My adult height, 5'11", puts me in the 99th percentile for American women.
I was never thin, either. I was big enough that my classmates thought I was a lot tougher than I actually was. A girl who bullied many of the other girls in elementary school didn't pick on me thanks to my size.
My physical appearance was the object-of-ridicule of choice for my classmates in junior high school. It didn't help that in my family, caring about your physical appearance was discouraged and I wore hand-me-downs and clothing from Goodwill. It also didn't help that I bathed too infrequently for this culture. I felt extremely self-conscious and I wanted to just disappear.
Things were better in high school. I was still somewhat eccentric in my appearance, but I managed to fly under the radar. Nobody but my friends really noticed me and that's the way I liked it. I remained mostly anonymous through college, except for friends and my professors (who noticed my hard work more than my physical presence).
In grad school, I began packing on weight. After a while, I decided to lose that extra weight. I joined Weight Watchers in 2003 and became a lifetime member in 2005 after losing a total of 68 lbs. I also took up karate and became much more comfortable with the location of my body in three dimensions.
As you can see, I've always taken up a lot of x-y-z space. I can't really do much about the amount of space I take up in those first three dimensions, but -- as if in recompense -- I often find myself trying to take up as little space as I can in the fourth dimension (time).
My goal is for people's experience with me across the fourth dimension to be positive. I know that I tend to be long-winded (think about the length of most of my blog posts!) so I try to keep real-time interactions to a minimum. I want people to remember me as interesting and friendly but not a time-sink.
If I can avoid taking up people's time, I do so. I prefer to look on the internet first if I want to know a store's hours or inventory, for example.
If I can minimize the amount of time I take up, I do that too. I try to learn everything I can on my own before asking someone else about it, for example. This is a good trait in many ways, in that I'm usually much better prepared to ask the optimal questions that will help me find out what I need to know.
But, I realize, sometimes I don't take up enough of people's time. I have not asked for help when I needed it, because I didn't want to waste someone else's time, or interrupt the important things they were doing. Instead I wasted a lot of my own time, but since it's my own rather than someone else's it somehow seems all right to squander it.
I've failed to make others take the time to notice me and have missed opportunities because of it. I have been invited to participate in things, but convinced myself that the other person was just being polite and I would waste others' valuable time.
But I am slowly coming into my own. It helps that I have a very avid, 28-pound fan who can't get enough time with his Mama; a husband who has spent nearly ten years of his life with me; and a boss who makes time for me and some colleagues who take the time to listen when I speak. Maybe, I'm beginning to realize, I am worth even more than the time of day.
And that is a good feeling. Losing size in three-space is hard, but paring down in the fourth dimension is a hopeless business.
scientiae-carnival
I have always been tall. By the time I was in fifth grade, I was taller than my teacher. I outgrew my mother and my older sister by the age of 12. My adult height, 5'11", puts me in the 99th percentile for American women.
I was never thin, either. I was big enough that my classmates thought I was a lot tougher than I actually was. A girl who bullied many of the other girls in elementary school didn't pick on me thanks to my size.
My physical appearance was the object-of-ridicule of choice for my classmates in junior high school. It didn't help that in my family, caring about your physical appearance was discouraged and I wore hand-me-downs and clothing from Goodwill. It also didn't help that I bathed too infrequently for this culture. I felt extremely self-conscious and I wanted to just disappear.
Things were better in high school. I was still somewhat eccentric in my appearance, but I managed to fly under the radar. Nobody but my friends really noticed me and that's the way I liked it. I remained mostly anonymous through college, except for friends and my professors (who noticed my hard work more than my physical presence).
In grad school, I began packing on weight. After a while, I decided to lose that extra weight. I joined Weight Watchers in 2003 and became a lifetime member in 2005 after losing a total of 68 lbs. I also took up karate and became much more comfortable with the location of my body in three dimensions.
As you can see, I've always taken up a lot of x-y-z space. I can't really do much about the amount of space I take up in those first three dimensions, but -- as if in recompense -- I often find myself trying to take up as little space as I can in the fourth dimension (time).
My goal is for people's experience with me across the fourth dimension to be positive. I know that I tend to be long-winded (think about the length of most of my blog posts!) so I try to keep real-time interactions to a minimum. I want people to remember me as interesting and friendly but not a time-sink.
If I can avoid taking up people's time, I do so. I prefer to look on the internet first if I want to know a store's hours or inventory, for example.
If I can minimize the amount of time I take up, I do that too. I try to learn everything I can on my own before asking someone else about it, for example. This is a good trait in many ways, in that I'm usually much better prepared to ask the optimal questions that will help me find out what I need to know.
But, I realize, sometimes I don't take up enough of people's time. I have not asked for help when I needed it, because I didn't want to waste someone else's time, or interrupt the important things they were doing. Instead I wasted a lot of my own time, but since it's my own rather than someone else's it somehow seems all right to squander it.
I've failed to make others take the time to notice me and have missed opportunities because of it. I have been invited to participate in things, but convinced myself that the other person was just being polite and I would waste others' valuable time.
But I am slowly coming into my own. It helps that I have a very avid, 28-pound fan who can't get enough time with his Mama; a husband who has spent nearly ten years of his life with me; and a boss who makes time for me and some colleagues who take the time to listen when I speak. Maybe, I'm beginning to realize, I am worth even more than the time of day.
And that is a good feeling. Losing size in three-space is hard, but paring down in the fourth dimension is a hopeless business.
scientiae-carnival
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Career Day
Thanks to everybody for all your advice on career day. I gave a 30-minute presentation full of slides with interesting pictures. I began by asking who liked math. I got a show of a few hands. Then I said, "I'm glad that some people here like math. But for the rest of you, I have bad news. Any career is going to involve math to a greater or lesser degree. And generally speaking, the more math that's involved, the more money you'll make."
I had some pictures from popular television shows to get them interested. I asked them if anybody watched "Gray's Anatomy." There was a show of a few hands. "Well," I said. "What if you're a doctor and you prescribe 200 mg of a very potent medicine instead of 200 µg?"
I also had a picture from the show "CSI." Again, I asked if anyone liked that show. And then I asked what would happen if you were working on the very last DNA sample and you added 5 mL of solvent when you meant to add 50 µL? In both of these cases, knowledge of math is vital for job success.
Then I talked about my job. I told them about our supercomputers, giving the really cool numbers about how many flops* the machines do; our huge, expensive cooling system (capable of cooling 640 large houses); how much our power bill is ($5-7 million/year), etc.
And I told them about the science. I showed some pretty pictures of various applications, starting off with combustion. I asked who got to school today thanks to the power of internal combustion. There was some confusion, but after it was established that I was talking about engines, just about everyone raised their hands. Then I asked who had heard their parents complaining about the high price of gas lately. Everyone raised their hands for that one. Well, I said, that's because some of the best cars, such as mine, get maybe 30-40 mpg. But wouldn't it be cool if we could get more like 300 or 400 mpg? That's why we study combustion.
I ended the presentation by talking about my educational background and then what they could do if they were interested in a career like mine. I told them what sort of educational activities they should do but above all encouraged them to be persistent and don't let other people discourage them. I also showed a slide with pictures of some of the youngest and most attractive people I work with. In addition to being more visually appealing, they are more diverse, and it is part of my mission as a member of an underrepresented group in computer science to encourage students from underrepresented groups to join us. (I showed pictures of three people, two of whom were women, and two of whom were African-American.)
After my presentation was over, I got quite a few good questions. One joker asked something about my advanced age, but otherwise the students were genuinely curious. I felt that career day was a success and I'm grateful for all your advice.
* A flop (in addition to being a bad joke that nobody laughs at)** is a FLoating-point OPeration -- basically, any arithmetic operation involving numbers with decimal points, such as 1.1+1.1. Our big machine does 263 teraflops per second, or 263 trillion floating point operations per second. If everyone in the world were capable of doing one floating point operation per second, and we all worked together, it would take us nearly half a day to do what it takes this machine one second to do.
** Standard leadership computing facility tour guide joke.
I had some pictures from popular television shows to get them interested. I asked them if anybody watched "Gray's Anatomy." There was a show of a few hands. "Well," I said. "What if you're a doctor and you prescribe 200 mg of a very potent medicine instead of 200 µg?"
I also had a picture from the show "CSI." Again, I asked if anyone liked that show. And then I asked what would happen if you were working on the very last DNA sample and you added 5 mL of solvent when you meant to add 50 µL? In both of these cases, knowledge of math is vital for job success.
Then I talked about my job. I told them about our supercomputers, giving the really cool numbers about how many flops* the machines do; our huge, expensive cooling system (capable of cooling 640 large houses); how much our power bill is ($5-7 million/year), etc.
And I told them about the science. I showed some pretty pictures of various applications, starting off with combustion. I asked who got to school today thanks to the power of internal combustion. There was some confusion, but after it was established that I was talking about engines, just about everyone raised their hands. Then I asked who had heard their parents complaining about the high price of gas lately. Everyone raised their hands for that one. Well, I said, that's because some of the best cars, such as mine, get maybe 30-40 mpg. But wouldn't it be cool if we could get more like 300 or 400 mpg? That's why we study combustion.
I ended the presentation by talking about my educational background and then what they could do if they were interested in a career like mine. I told them what sort of educational activities they should do but above all encouraged them to be persistent and don't let other people discourage them. I also showed a slide with pictures of some of the youngest and most attractive people I work with. In addition to being more visually appealing, they are more diverse, and it is part of my mission as a member of an underrepresented group in computer science to encourage students from underrepresented groups to join us. (I showed pictures of three people, two of whom were women, and two of whom were African-American.)
After my presentation was over, I got quite a few good questions. One joker asked something about my advanced age, but otherwise the students were genuinely curious. I felt that career day was a success and I'm grateful for all your advice.
* A flop (in addition to being a bad joke that nobody laughs at)** is a FLoating-point OPeration -- basically, any arithmetic operation involving numbers with decimal points, such as 1.1+1.1. Our big machine does 263 teraflops per second, or 263 trillion floating point operations per second. If everyone in the world were capable of doing one floating point operation per second, and we all worked together, it would take us nearly half a day to do what it takes this machine one second to do.
** Standard leadership computing facility tour guide joke.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
May Scientiae Carnival
The May edition of the Scientiae Carnival is up at my blogfriend Flicka Mawa's place, A Cat Nap. The topic of the carnival is "career paths, perspective, and changing self-image." Flicka Mawa was kind enough to include my graphical interpretation of my ever-evolving self-image.
Go forth and read it! It's really great! Thanks, Flicka Mawa, for putting together such a fascinating carnival!
Go forth and read it! It's really great! Thanks, Flicka Mawa, for putting together such a fascinating carnival!
Friday, May 02, 2008
Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act
Sometimes I think I live in the land of dinosaurs! Neither of my senators voted for the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. Oh sure, there are misinformed people who believe that by allowing someone to sue for back pay after 180 days, there would be a catastrophic ten percent decrease in everyone's pay, but quite honestly, this does not follow. (If you believe that one, I've got some waterfront property to sell you -- it has a view of the water from all directions! Very lovely!) What it would do instead is make employers that much more careful about systematically discriminating against anyone.
Anyhow, here's what I wrote to my senators:
Anyhow, here's what I wrote to my senators:
Dear Senator:
I was disappointed to see that you voted against the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act recently. I cannot understand why you would vote against a bill that would remedy unfairness in pay.
Senator, I am a woman and the breadwinner of my family. It is a well-known fact that due to bias (both conscious and subconscious), women do not get the recognition that they deserve for their hard work, and this includes promotion and raises. I am a scientist, and there have been peer-reviewed, double-blind studies that have shown that a woman scientist has to be more than twice as productive as a man scientist in order to be considered equally competent. If a man must publish ten papers a year, then a woman must publish twenty in order to be considered his peer.
Therefore a woman who works as hard as her male counterpart will not receive the same reward, and fall behind in pay. It takes time to ascertain the pattern of iniquity, and this bill seeks to allow women and others subject to this type of discriminatory practice the time necessary to do so.
Senator, I encourage you to change your vote the next time this bill comes up. My family deserves your support in making sure that I am remunerated as much as I deserve.
Sincerely,
[me], Ph.D.
Computational Scientist
Friday, April 25, 2008
My Ever-Evolving Self-Image: A Mathematical Perspective
The topic of this month's scientiae carnival is "our changing views of ourselves and our careers as we pass through time."
Since I am more mathematician than wordsmith, I thought I might express these changes in graphical form. The x-axis represents time, and the colored, dashed lines represent major life events that have exerted influence upon my life.
First up, the amount of change for the better I must bring to this world (or else face certain doom):
A few data points from the previous graph: {(4, President of the United States + Nobel Peace Prize), (8, Nobel Peace Prize), (12, Nobel Prize in Chemistry/Physics/Medicine), (18, Professor at top-ranked Research I University), (32, Best second-rate mathematician in the world)}.
Next, my level of self-confidence:
A few data points from this graph: {(4, I can never do anything right), (12, Junior High -- need I say more?), (23, Grad School is Hard!), (27, My family -- putting the fun in dysfunctional), (29, I made it out of grad school! I made it!), (32, I got a real job!)}.
Third, how convinced I am that I'm doing the right thing with my life:
A few data points for this graph: {(4, I'll never be able to stop being a total screw-up), (12, I have to be a violinist but I'll never make it), (16, I want to be a scientist even though my mother thinks my talents are best spent elsewhere), (21, Physics is hard!), (27, Why did I ever take my mother's opinion of what I should do in life as my own? WTF was I thinking?), (32, I am definitely in the right place.)}.
scientiae-carnival
Since I am more mathematician than wordsmith, I thought I might express these changes in graphical form. The x-axis represents time, and the colored, dashed lines represent major life events that have exerted influence upon my life.
First up, the amount of change for the better I must bring to this world (or else face certain doom):
A few data points from the previous graph: {(4, President of the United States + Nobel Peace Prize), (8, Nobel Peace Prize), (12, Nobel Prize in Chemistry/Physics/Medicine), (18, Professor at top-ranked Research I University), (32, Best second-rate mathematician in the world)}.Next, my level of self-confidence:
A few data points from this graph: {(4, I can never do anything right), (12, Junior High -- need I say more?), (23, Grad School is Hard!), (27, My family -- putting the fun in dysfunctional), (29, I made it out of grad school! I made it!), (32, I got a real job!)}.Third, how convinced I am that I'm doing the right thing with my life:
A few data points for this graph: {(4, I'll never be able to stop being a total screw-up), (12, I have to be a violinist but I'll never make it), (16, I want to be a scientist even though my mother thinks my talents are best spent elsewhere), (21, Physics is hard!), (27, Why did I ever take my mother's opinion of what I should do in life as my own? WTF was I thinking?), (32, I am definitely in the right place.)}.scientiae-carnival
Saturday, March 01, 2008
One Year of Scientiae!
The one-year anniversary edition of the scientiae carnival is here! The theme is "renewal." Read it and enjoy, and thank our gracious hostess, Skookumchick, for starting the carnival!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Growing the "Computity"
Something fun that I get to do in my job is give tours. My boss doesn't want me to do more than one a week, and because of his prohibition, I give tours infrequently enough that they are fun every time. I give a 15-minute spiel on the "observation deck" overlooking our machine room, before escorting them upstairs to the visualization lab.
There are some standard tour guide tricks that I perform. If you tour any cave, there are standard cave tour guide jokes (such as the wishing rock... the rock you wish you hadn't hit your head on), and likewise there are standard leadership computing facility tour guide jokes.
I make the jokes to keep people awake and interested. But I hope that I do more than provide light entertainment to all our visitors, but especially the students.
In particular, I hope that my words reach deeper than a light-hearted tickling of their funny-bones. I hope that some of the students who visit come away with new ideas about their futures. I hope that they discover that supercomputing is a fascinating field. I hope they can see all the things I love about my job, and seriously consider a career in high-performance computing. I hope that they can see that scientists are normal folks with people skills and good senses of humor.* I hope that I can be a role model, to girls in particular, who can remember me as a counterexample when people tell them (directly or indirectly) that science is not for them.
Even if they don't remember me later in life, I hope that I have planted a seed in their minds, and that someday, some of these children grow up to be computational scientists. The "computity" needs new members!
* Nerd joke: How do you know that you're talking to an extroverted {mathematician, computer scientist, physicist}? Because the {mathematician, computer scientist, physicist} is looking down at your shoes rather than his or her own while talking to you.
Another good (but only tangentially related) joke: How do you know that you're dealing with the mathematics mafia? Because they make you an offer you can't understand.
scientiae-carnival
There are some standard tour guide tricks that I perform. If you tour any cave, there are standard cave tour guide jokes (such as the wishing rock... the rock you wish you hadn't hit your head on), and likewise there are standard leadership computing facility tour guide jokes.
I make the jokes to keep people awake and interested. But I hope that I do more than provide light entertainment to all our visitors, but especially the students.
In particular, I hope that my words reach deeper than a light-hearted tickling of their funny-bones. I hope that some of the students who visit come away with new ideas about their futures. I hope that they discover that supercomputing is a fascinating field. I hope they can see all the things I love about my job, and seriously consider a career in high-performance computing. I hope that they can see that scientists are normal folks with people skills and good senses of humor.* I hope that I can be a role model, to girls in particular, who can remember me as a counterexample when people tell them (directly or indirectly) that science is not for them.
Even if they don't remember me later in life, I hope that I have planted a seed in their minds, and that someday, some of these children grow up to be computational scientists. The "computity" needs new members!
* Nerd joke: How do you know that you're talking to an extroverted {mathematician, computer scientist, physicist}? Because the {mathematician, computer scientist, physicist} is looking down at your shoes rather than his or her own while talking to you.
Another good (but only tangentially related) joke: How do you know that you're dealing with the mathematics mafia? Because they make you an offer you can't understand.
scientiae-carnival
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