Speaking of the strict Australian quarantine laws, some friends of mine alerted me to the existence of a show called "Border Security: Australia's Front Line." You can find playlists of it on youtube. Jeff and I have become addicted.

It's about the people who work in customs, quarantine, and immigration, and it's very interesting. We've learned a lot about what to do when we enter Australia. In particular, it seems that on the card you fill out before debarking the plane, you want to check "yes" on questions like "Do you have any food?" -- even if you don't think you have any -- because if it turns out that you do have some but didn't check that box, you face a fine of $220.

In the early seasons of the show, there is an immigration officer named Peter who seems to always get to the bottom of things and figure people out. (Of course, the whole thing is edited so naturally we never see any officers screw up!) I think if I get selected for questioning and it turns out to be Peter, I will just confess everything wrong that I've ever done ("I once blew a red light, and I should have gotten a ticket but I didn't!" "I teased my sister and made her cry!" etc.) and hope for the best.

Adventures in an Empty House

We are camping out in our house now. The movers came the week before last to pack everything up and get our belongings on the road ahead of us. It will take a minimum of two months for the 40-foot shipping container to make it to Australia, so we wanted to give it a head start. We're sleeping on mats and sleeping bags on the floor, and eating with plasticware.

The empty house is kind of sad -- but beautiful, because we have fixed it up for sale. We repaired a lot of things, had the interior and exterior repainted, had new flooring installed in the master bathroom and in the basement -- things that I now wish we had done years ago, because it is a much better house than we had been living in all these years, and we don't get to enjoy the benefits!

I took a bunch of food in to work yesterday, and I'm taking more today, for people to sort through and take. We can't take it with us, unfortunately, because of the strict quarantine laws in Australia.

Adventures in Labo(u)r Laws

When I received the offer for my new job, I looked through the packet of information with great interest. I was especially intrigued by one of the papers -- an information sheet (link is to pdf) from "Fair Work Australia" about my rights as an employee. It was a recursive info sheet -- one of my rights was "the right to receive this information sheet about your rights."

But reading it, several major points stood out in my mind. The first was all the rights that Australian workers have, rights that Americans only see as luxuries. For example, everyone receives four (4) weeks paid vacation! The lowest minimum-wage worker in Australia is entitled to more vacation than I receive as a highly compensated professional in the United States. Note that they are entitled to it; I receive three weeks off as a gesture of goodwill from my employer. (There is no vacation requirement in the US.)

Furthermore, Australian workers are entitled to up to ten days of paid leave for illness or caregiving for a family member. Again, no paid leave is required in the United States, which means that the three days per year that my employer gives me is above and beyond the call of duty. But it is somewhat humiliating to realize that a minimum wage worker in Australia has more than 3 times the cushion that I do in the event of accident or illness.*

Another entitlement is to be able to work out a flexible schedule with your employer to accommodate for caring for your child under school age or disabled child. Imagine trying to do that in the United States! Even my employer, which prides itself on (its perceived) flexibility, would be hard-pressed to do that.

It's like employers are supposed to think of you as a full person, not just a "work factory!" I think I'm going to really like being respected as a worker.


* This is not intended as a swipe at minimum-wage workers. My point is that the lowliest workers in the Australian labor ecosystem are entitled to more benefits than the highest workers in the American labor ecosystem receive from top employers. American workers deserve more rights!

Open Letter to Fat-Haters

Dear Insecure Assholes,

Some fat people are fat because they eat too much. Others (usually the ones who are so fat that you make fun of them) have genetic make-ups that cause them to balloon in weight because of our modern, sedentary lifestyle.

What we call a genetic disorder was actually an advantage in the not-so-distant past. You see, if food was scarce, then being able to efficiently store as many calories as possible would be a huge bonus. And so would having a huge appetite, especially for sweet and fatty foods. But with today's plentiful food (including foods that are full of empty calories), this is no longer an advantage. So these people end up with more calories coming in than they are expending. Making fun of somebody who is genetically prone to obesity is like making fun of a woman who comes from a long line of ancestors with breast cancer.

Next let's talk about the people who are fat because they eat too much. People eat too much for a variety of reasons. Some people just don't make it a priority to watch their weight. There's nothing wrong with that choice, despite what our society preaches. Being moderately overweight has been shown to be beneficial in a lot of medical outcomes. Others have been sexually abused, and become obese so that they are "unattractive" in a dysfunctional attempt to ward off future abusers. And still others use food as a form of comfort to survive abuse or tough times. (This is what I did when I was going through a tough time.) In other words, at best you are making fun of people who have made a morally neutral choice, but more than likely you're piling further pain upon already-hurting people.

Next let's talk about your misconceptions about fat people. They are not inherently lazy. They do not all shovel doughnuts into their mouths by the dozen at all times. And, just because you see someone eating a Big Mac, for all you know that could be a special treat for the person and not a regular occurence! They often eat balanced diets. They often exercise. They are not dirty and gross. They are just normal people trying to make it through the journey of life.

If you are making fun of fat people, you must be feeling really hurt and insecure yourself. Well, just remember that we all have our ways of accommodating for our insecurities. Some people overeat, and others make fun of other people. Your behavior is no less dysfunctional than theirs.

Oh, and making fun of people because their body deviates from the ideal is so junior-high. Please grow the heck up already!

No love,
-Rebecca

Adventures in Australiana

Adding to the riskiness of taking this job, I have never actually been to Australia. The interview was over the internet. They sent me documents via email, and I returned scans of the signed documents. I've never seen my future boss in person (although I did meet a few of his colleagues when they visited my workplace to learn strategies from the top supercomputing centers as they were starting up their project). But I did not jump into this sight-unseen.

I did a lot of homework ahead of time. A colleague has a friend who lives in Perth and works in the same building I will work in -- an American woman, with whom I spoke extensively. And thanks to Google Maps street view, we've driven around Perth (admittedly very slowly and in a fishbowl!). I've been reading the local news as well, getting a feel for what's going on.

I also read all about Australia and Western Australia (WA) as a whole. I've learned about the way their government is set up, and the fact that they have a childless, unmarried, female, atheist prime minister (a combination that would be political suicide in this country!). I learned about their history and holidays (for one thing, Easter is a four-day weekend). I learned about their income tax system, their retirement system, and their public medical insurance scheme (alas, with a temporary work visa, we don't qualify and must pay for our own private insurance). I learned about how to get a driver's license in Western Australia. I read the Western Australian police department's website, the WA department of education's website, and examined some of the primary schools in the area that Vinny could potentially attend. I checked out the online shopping for two of the biggest grocery stores in the area, as well as the Australian Kmart and Target chains (they licensed the names and logos from the US, but that is the extent of the similarity). Yes, they do sell peanut butter.

A friend of mine let me borrow Bill Bryson's book In a Sunburned Country, a book that really did make me laugh out loud. (I only wish it would have had more about Perth.) We watched a number of documentaries on Australia as well.

I've also been in contact with some of my future colleagues, one in particular who has kids similar in age to Vinny. From that colleague, I've learned more about how the schools work and about Australian culture. I think it's all going to be just fine (although that is not to say that there will be no surprises!).

Adventures in Resignation

Eventually, I was going to have to tell the powers-that-be that I was leaving. Technically, I only had to give two weeks notice, but that would have been kind of rude. I might want to come back someday, and I don't want to burn any bridges. I asked my boss what to do, and he recommended that I tell them in May, to give them two months to adjust to the situation, and also, enough time to at least have a chance to counter offer.

But, when I talked to another person at work whose opinion I greatly respect, he told me I should tell the powers-that-be as soon as I was emotionally ready to do so. When I told this colleague, I ended up crying, because it is a very emotionally charged thing for me.* So I needed to practice, he told me, practice until I could say it without crying and in a way that would convey the excitement I was feeling -- to help them understand why I had made this decision.

In a way, this situation reminded me of when I was a postdoc and had to tell my boss that I was pregnant. I remember telling him that I had some "exciting" news -- not good news, not bad news. He received it very well. So I knew I could do it. It was just a matter of practice.

I decided that I needed to do it before a major conference that was approaching. I also thought it would be best to do it on a Friday afternoon. So almost two weeks ago, I told my boss' boss that I had decided to take the other job offer, because it was such an exciting, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

He was disappointed, but he took it well. I told him I would definitely like for our two centers to collaborate, and he readily agreed. I said I might want to come back someday, and he didn't disagree. The last thing I wanted to do was burn any bridges, and I don't believe I have.


* Also, I was really sick, and if I had a reasonable number of sick days per year, I would have been at home trying to recover from the flu instead of at work sharing it with my colleagues. So I wasn't really in the best state physically or emotionally that day.

Adventures in Difficult Decisions

I felt really guilty about it, but I wanted to take this other position, even though it meant leaving my family and friends, and my boss (who may as well be family) behind.  I felt that by staying, I could prolong my boss's life by keeping that pressure off of him.

At the same time, I was so angry at my current workplace that it was hard to retain my composure sometimes.  The fact that I had a good offer elsewhere helped to lower my inhibitions.  I became fearless -- asking nine questions of the head of my institution at a managerial meeting (more than twice as many questions as everyone else combined!), sending a letter of complaint to the head of HR about the HR person whose remarks had so angered me, and generally being more outspoken than usual, as I dared them all to fire me.

But still I felt so guilty and so ashamed to even think of leaving.  My in-laws would be devastated; my friends were begging me not to go; and I could not bear to think of abandoning my boss.

I had lunch with him, still away from work, and I sobbed nearly the whole time.  He reassured me that he would not think less of me for leaving, that he understood why I would want to pursue this opportunity.*  I saw a gleam in his eye when he talked about coming to our current workplace when it was a brand-new center.

I wanted that gleam in my eye, not the flash of fire that inevitably appears these days.  I wanted to love the way I earn a living.  So the solution seemed obvious.  But one stumbling block remained: relocation.  The offer did not include sufficient relocation funds to move our household without paying out of pocket, and I did not want to do that.  So I asked for what I wanted: full moving expenses and one month of short-term housing.**  And they agreed! (Maybe I should have asked for more!)

So I signed the papers, scanned them, and sent them over email, following up with the originals via priority mail.  Ten days later, I applied for the visa, and within six hours of turning in the final paperwork, the visa was approved.***

*See what I mean about how awesome he is?  Best. Boss. Ever!!!


** Template for others facing this situation:

Thank you very much for this exciting opportunity. I am very excited about the possibility and I would really like to accept your offer. There is one final concern that I have, but assuming that it can be resolved to our mutual satisfaction, I will sign the contract. 


 My concern has to do with relocation. I’ve been trying to find out how much it would cost to move our belongings from A to B, and from what I understand it may cost much more than $X. One quote I received was $Y, and based on Z’s experience (she forwarded me her moving info) this seems like a good approximation. Someone is coming to perform an in-home moving estimate on Monday, but unfortunately I won’t get a quote until after the deadline for accepting. 


What I would really like is for the cost of relocation and one month of short-term housing to be covered. It would ease my family’s anxiety about moving, and my anxiety about trying to find a place to live while trying to do well at my job and adjusting to a brand-new place. If we could agree to something like that, then I would definitely sign the contract.


*** I am really impressed with the efficiency of the Australian government (or at least their immigration department).  From my experience with hiring foreign nationals, this process would have dragged out another six months if I'd been dealing with the United States government.

Adventures in Job Satisfaction

From my perspective, my life at work had taken a turn for the worse in recent months.

My boss, who is truly made entirely of elemental awesome, has a serious chronic health condition, which took a turn for the worse at the end of last year.  Unfortunately, even Awesomonium can't protect you from your own body degenerating.  Over the past two years, I had taken on more of his load to help protect his fragile health, something that I willingly did, because I want to someday go into management and this was an opportunity to gain experience -- but most importantly, because I love that man!*  I've mentioned that I became the hiring manager for postdocs last summer -- that was one of his tasks.  I was able to hire the rest of the postdocs and write all the boring reports that went with this task.  I also served as his substitute when his health kept him from work, and as the main point of contact for a number of other tasks.  All this while still doing my own job.

When the higher-ups decided to open up a new task lead position (reporting to my boss), I jumped at the opportunity and applied for it.  My boss wanted me to have that position (since I was already doing the work), but the folks above him weren't so sure.  After several months had passed and I hadn't heard anything good about my chances of getting that job, I decided to be a little more proactive about my career.  I saw a position advertised at another supercomputing center, one for which the requirements and qualifications were basically "everything Rebecca has been doing over the years."  I applied almost 3 weeks after the application deadline, yet I still landed the interview, and within a half-hour I was asked when I could start.

It seemed like a cool opportunity, one that I would be willing to take, despite one major downside: it involved moving far away.  We've always lived within a one-state radius of Kentucky, and we are very close to our families, so this would be a big adjustment.  But I was nevertheless delighted when I learned that I would be getting an offer from this institution.

Adding to my interest in this other opportunity were some recent developments related to our benefits at my current workplace.  Our retirement matching was temporarily suspended, and our paid absences heavily restricted to a ridiculous level, all to deal with the consequences of the poor economy and government austerity.  More plans were being developed to cut costs on our pension plan and health insurance, as well.  My boss was now on medical leave, so I got the opportunity to attend meetings on these issues in his stead.

Attending these meetings opened my eyes to just how out of touch with regular people the leadership at my institution really is.  Nobody thought to consult with groups representing the types of people who would be most adversely impacted by the new restrictions on paid time away (e.g., women, single parents, and people with chronic illnesses) when these policies were being developed, for example.  And one representative of human resources actually conflated the case of an irresponsible person using up all their paid time off on a wild drunken vacation and the case of someone like my boss using up all his paid time off to cover the days he was too sick to work!**  It took all the strength I had not to leap across the table.  Instead my inner mom took over, and I scolded this insensitive HR person into silence.

I also did not feel particularly certain about my future in a leadership role at my current workplace.  While my boss seems to understand my accomplishments and abilities, his boss was unaware and fairly indifferent.  When told that I was considering this other option, he was not particularly motivated to try and keep me.  I spoke with him about it, and he did not see the same future for me here that I wanted.  It was nothing personal -- just a matter of opinion about the direction the center should go for the task lead position.  So it seemed the writing was on the wall.

The offer came in from the other institution.  It was a little low -- a 20% pay cut.  I emailed back and politely asked for more, based on what I currently make.***  They met me in the middle, which was about what I had expected.  Despite the 10% pay cut, the higher cost of living, and the necessity of saving additional money to pay for annual trips home to Kentucky, it was looking better and better.

The guy who manages the day-to-day operations of our center -- a guy who works for my boss's boss, and wields some power -- caught wind of my other offer.  In a panic, he called me in for a meeting, and asked what he could do to keep me from leaving.  All I ever wanted, I told him, was to be task lead.  I'm already doing the work and I'm doing a good job.  (He agreed.)  But, the bigger boss is apparently looking for someone with different qualifications than mine.  I understand, and I'm disappointed, but I'm not taking it personally.  If he could persuade the bigger boss to give me the title, however, I would probably stay.  He said he'd work on it.  I thanked him, and told him my deadline was mid-January.

I continued to negotiate with the other center.  There were a lot of really good things about this opportunity.  It's a brand-new supercomputing center.  The science problems they are solving overlap somewhat with what I currently work on, but there is also room for growth by working on another of their major focuses.  The new (to me) problems boil down to inverse and ill-posed problems, which is what I cut my teeth on (or, got my Ph.D. working on!) but have never solved at such a large scale.  Since it's a new center and I would be one of the first staff members, there would be lots of opportunities to apply my experience and step into new roles.

My updated offer arrived, and I informed the powers that be of my deadline.  The operations guy came through, and I learned that I would be getting the position I wanted.

But I wasn't as happy about it as I had hoped.  I was glad to finally get the recognition I deserved, but at the same time I felt under-appreciated and resentful of the great lengths I had to go to in order to get it.  The director of my potential new workplace, however, was making me feel a lot more wanted -- all my emails with complex questions were quickly answered, and he even offered to chat via the internet, something I did take him up on.

In our chat, he told me of all the exciting new opportunities I would have there -- the opportunity to mentor and supervise students, the opportunity to develop as a leader, and the opportunity to really shape how the center would operate.  We talked about the location, the nice weather, the real possibility of me being able to walk to work every day...

But... did I mention that it is in Australia?  Perth, Western Australia -- almost antipodal -- or certainly as far away as you can get from Kentucky without landing in the ocean.


* He is the best boss I will probably ever have.  He's a person who engenders strong emotions in everyone -- I don't think I've ever met anyone who is neutral about him.  But here are a few ways that he is the best boss ever: 1, He trusts us to do our work and get the job done however we decide to do it.  2, He thinks of us as human beings, not "work-production machines," and strives to have a positive personal relationship with each person in our group.  3, He is extremely family-friendly, and understands that family obligations are actually more important than work.  4, He never does anything to remind me that I'm different than the majority of the group, e.g., he curses just as much in front of me as he does everyone else, and he never makes sexist jokes.  5, The way people treat my child and the way my child reacts to them is a reasonably accurate first-order approximation of their character -- and he loves my son, and my son adores him too.  


**  Obviously this HR person is a Tea Party member, because their point was "personal responsibility!!!!" Yeah, my boss should have totally picked a better body for his soul to enter into (if you believe in that kind of thing), or at a minimum directed the development of his body more carefully in utero.  How irresponsible of him to have a genetic predisposition for his chronic illness!  He should have picked different parents.


** A template for anyone facing this situation:

"Right now, looking at the offer, I have a few concerns with the salary rate.  Currently, I make $X annually, and I live in one of the least expensive parts of the United States.  I am the sole breadwinner in my family (my husband stays home and cares for our young son), but we live very comfortably.  I recognized, when applying, that even the highest end of the salary range quoted would be a pay cut, and I was prepared for a moderate amount of belt tightening to accommodate for that, combined with moving to a more expensive part of the world and the necessity of spending $Y/year on plane tickets to visit family who are currently only a short drive away.  I was prepared to do that because [insert reasons this is a cool opportunity here], but this is a little more belt-tightening than I feel comfortable doing.  Is there any way that the salary could come any closer to what I make now?"

Adventures in Eye Trouble

On Thursday, I could see the red spreading through the white of my left eye. I could see where this was going -- pinkeye -- so when I got home, I got out the eyedrops from the bout last year, and began medicating myself before things got any worse.

That evening, I watched some TV, and I noticed how incredibly bright the thing was. As the evening wore on, my eye became more and more photosensitive. I woke up in the middle of the night with excrutiating pain in my eye, from the ambient light of my neighborhood coming in through the window and filtering through my eyelid! I may as well have been staring straight into the sun, for all the pain it was causing me.

Jeff got me a towel and I was able to wrap my head in it and the pain was not as bad, but there was still a stabbing pain every few minutes. But I managed to get a little sleep.

In the morning I still could not open my eyes or unwrap my head hardly at all. I took a shower with my eyes closed. Jeff took me to the doctor, blindfolded. He also went into the appointment with me, in case someone needed to hold me down while the doctor pried my eyelid open. The doctor was suspicious about the photosensitivity, which made him think it wasn't pinkeye, so he referred me to a specialist. By that point, things were starting to get a little better, and I could open my eyes in a dark room with minimal discomfort. The opthamologist numbed my eye and shone various colored lights into it. After a detailed examination, he determined that I had suffered an episode of iritis, a non-contagious, spontaneous inflammation of the eye. He prescribed some eyedrops for me and off we went.

Today, my eye is a bit sore and red, but much better. Vinny has been administering my eyedrops, which has been great! I am so lucky to have such a sweet and thoughtful son who takes good care of me!

Red Leaf Conversations

Today, after I turned left at a stoplight, I saw another red Nissan Leaf, stopped behind me at the light. I slowed down a little bit, hoping that the other red Leaf would catch up to me.

Sure enough, the driver stopped beside me at the next traffic light. I rolled down my window, and he rolled down his. We conversed about our cars. We both love them, and think they are the best car ever.

Then that light turned green, but we got caught by the next one. In our next conversation, I told him that I'd had mine since July, and he said he got his in September. Then there were no more stoplights, and we eventually went our separate ways.

Music I Enjoy: Sibelius Symphony No. 4

Jean Sibelius is another of my favorite composers. His work is a departure from Beethoven's -- less formal, more organic. In his symphonies, the music just evolves from the beginning to the end, unlike the more formal structure of Beethoven's symphonies.

My favorite symphonies are the second, third, and fourth. The second and third are fairly popular, but the fourth is under-appreciated, in my opinion.

Perhaps this is because it is so dark and stark. I readily concede that it is. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it is certainly mine. This symphony has been played orders of magnitude more than everything else on my iPod. It is perfect for writing papers -- it keeps my emotions occupied while my brain works on the papers.

One commenter on the YouTube video that I link to for this said:

If there ever was a man foolish enough to say that despair cannot be sublime, by the time this symphony hits 1 minute and 10 seconds he has been proven wrong.

Take out the male-exclusive pronouns, and I could not agree more. It is a piece of beauty drawn from despair.

The symphony begins with a slow movement (unusual for a symphony). It starts with a cello/bass/bassoon dirge, and eventually a solo cello rises above. This movement sets the mood for the entire symphony: slow, stark, and dark. More of the orchestra joins in: first the violas, then the second violins, and finally the firsts -- and the volume rises as more instruments join. At the 2:15 mark, when the strings cannot get any louder, the horns and then the trumpets join in. This characterizes the entire movement -- a series of swells of sound, very beautiful, but slow, stark and dark.

Even the second movement, which is in a fast tempo, leads right back into slow, stark, and dark for the third movement (my favorite movement, and the focus of this post). The third movement parallels the beginning of the piece, with sustained cello/bass, but a flute solo to start. The flute passes the melody off to the clarinet, then it goes back to the flute, and the cellos and basses begin to imitate the lines of the flute.

We get a small taste of the melody that will be the climax of the piece when the horns enter at the 1:16 mark, but the first substantial preview is initiated by the violas beginning at about the 2:43 mark. At 4:30 it appears again in a slightly more developed form played by cellos under string tremolo. But it gets interrupted by a reprise of earlier themes. The cellos and basses bring it up again at about 5:32, with a poignant cello solo, and we again get thrown off by reprise of earlier themes. The next time it appears is at the 6:45 mark, and it is a much bigger exposition. At this point we can hear it in depth. It begins at the lowest range of the cellos and rises 6 octaves while swelling to fortissimo, before diving back down to the depths and pianissimo, and returning to the original opening theme.

At the 8:30 mark, we have a major theme under which the climax melody, played by the cellos, serves as accompaniment. Finally, at the ten-minute mark, it is the beginning of the big climax. Violins, viola, and cello play it in unison. The melody rises almost 3 octaves and the volume rises to fortissimo until the highest point is reached, and a swift decrescendo down to almost nothing.

For the remainder of the movement we have a sustained focus on the pitch C-sharp. There is a lot of dissonance and resolution and dissonance again, passing from flute to clarinet to first violin to second violin to cello to pizzicato bass, until everyone ends up on the C sharp and just fades away.

The fourth movement starts at C sharp. It is a necessary semi-resolution of the despair of the third movement, and has some beautiful moments in it, my favorite being the theme that begins at about the 2:48 mark and returns at about the 4:25 mark. In this particular recording, the coda (last part) is interpreted a lot differently than I had ever heard -- extremely slow, but perhaps more like it's intended, as if to say that there's no escape from the stark and dark. Although, if it were all up to me, I wouldn't even be trying to escape.

Music I Enjoy: Beethoven's 9th Symphony

In this series of posts, I've already discussed Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. The Ninth Symphony is equally famous. Everybody's heard the "Ode to Joy" -- and you may have even sung it a few times in church (it is a hymn in the Methodist hymnal at least). The final movement with the chorus is superb, to be sure, but I'd like to focus on the first two movements.

The first movement begins with an interval of a fourth (A and E). This is the (inverted) scaffolding of a chord -- the top and the bottom, but not the crucial middle note that tells you whether this is a major or a minor chord. He hangs onto this fourth, accentuating the two notes with violins ascending and descending the scale on those two pitches only, for half a minute. I love the tension this creates -- what is going on? Is this going to ever resolve?

Yes! It does resolve at that point, into D minor, which is fascinating because it is not entirely expected -- those starting notes suggested A minor or A major (although, A minor is a secondary chord in the key of D minor, so it's related). There's a little exposition of a melody, for another half minute, until we get back to another series of fifths, this time D and A. And this time, it resolves into B-flat major, but soon modulates across keys and into a fairly lengthy melodic section mostly in a major key, a break in the storm.

But at the 4:45 mark, we return to the fourths, this time resolving into a series of chords crescendoing into the exposition of a melody derived from the fourths. I really like the part beginning at about 6:23, where the violins alternate between G's -- one the lowest note they can play, and the other two octaves above, and this is then echoed by the woodwinds and brass when the violins take over the melody. Beginning at about the 7-minute mark, a sense of urgency is created in the texture of the piece by strings playing triplets (in the background), which creates an asymmetry in the music. The motion continues, culminating in a series of fortissimo D-major chords beginning at the 8:57 mark, changing to D minor at about 8:45, and recapitulating the melodies we heard throughout the movement. It ends in a typical Beethoven fashion, with a recapitulation of the first melody and a whole lot of D-minor chords.

My favorite movement in the entire symphony is the second movement, the scherzo. Apparently Beethoven was widely criticized for not following the standard form for symphonies, so he wrote this movement as a response to that criticism. The scherzo takes an A-B-A form: scherzo-trio-scherzo. It is in three (as scherzos should be), but with the fast tempo (prestissimo!) and syncopation, it sounds as if it's in quadruple time at times. Take that, critics!

It begins with the same melody* as the first movement, punctuated by a timpani. Then it goes into a fugue, started by the violins, joined by the horns and the rest of the string section and eventually the whole orchestra. We first hear the syncopation at about the 16:45 mark of the recording I've linked to, and in fact the harmony sounds backward in a way when we get to 16:52.

I love the way the timpani is used just like another instrument, in the 17:45 range -- it is identical to the contributions of all the rest of the instruments. And the music rises to a fortissimo statement of the melody beginning at about 18:15.

The trio section is introduced by the woodwinds at about 19:37. It is a swift departure from the original melody -- in major, and seemingly in quadruple time. It is a pleasant and peaceful break from the relentless minor melody. Until, of course, it returns at 22:10. The trio tries to reassert itself at about 25:38, but soon gets squashed by the melody from the first movement to round off the movement.



* If you can call it that! But Beethoven is the master of creating compelling music out of poor melodies.

Jobs: To Accept or Not to Accept?

Science Professor posted an article discussing whether it is best to take a job in hand or to take a risk on the possibility of another job offer coming through.*  The answer, of course, is that it depends.

Personally, I am probably more conservative and honor-bound than most.  So I would look at the job offer and try to figure out if it is good enough, and if so, accept the job and don't look back.  Reneging is sometimes necessary (e.g., family emergency, something big that changes the game), but it is really rude to the people who are trying to hire for a position.

I once had a postdoc candidate who turned down my job offer so that they could interview at Dream Place.  This person hadn't even gotten an interview there yet.  I was surprised that this is what they chose to do, but it worked out well for them in the end -- they now work at Dream Place.  And it worked out well for me as well, because I was able to hire the second-choice candidate who is now doing a wonderful job.

But we had another candidate who reneged, and not for good reasons, which made my boss extremely angry.  It is really hard on the hiring manager when this sort of thing happens -- we have to reopen the job search if we've already closed it, and there may have been a perfectly capable second-choice candidate who we've already rejected and has probably gotten a job elsewhere.  If it's for a good reason, we don't get resentful, but when it's because you've accepted a "better" job, that's different!  That person will never get a job with anyone my boss knows.


* In the context of professional job fields in which jobs are relatively plentiful -- making the best choice amongst many good choices.

Inquiring Minds Need to Know: Thomas the Tank Engine Edition

Some things that are particularly disturbing about the world of Thomas the Tank Engine:

• Am I the only person who noticed the fact that "Sodor" and "Mordor" sound very similar?
• And that Sir Topham Hatt always has his eye on the trains?
• The virtue on Sodor is "being useful," while the biggest vice is "causing confusion and delay."  Apparently, verbally abusing trains is A-OK.  
• Am I the only person who thinks that sometimes, the trains should just tell Sir Topham Hatt to shove it?
• With all the accidents that happen in just about every episode, how has Sir Topham Hatt's license to operate the railroads not yet been revoked?
• What exactly is the role of the train driver?  The trains seem to make all the big decisions.  Why do the drivers not put their foot down when the trains are being reckless?
• Am I the only person who abhors the classism inherent in Sodor society?  The trains aspire to be "really useful" and bicker amongst each other to get the "most important" of the menial tasks Sir Topham Hatt throws at them.  Mr. Perkins, the engine driver who is featured between stories, has a working-class British accent and is sickeningly deferential when Sir Topham Hatt calls on the phone.  (And don't even get me started on the exotic "oriental" train, Hiro!)  Everyone has their place in society and there is no mobility.
• Speaking of accents, why does the obviously American narrator of the story pronounce "Thomas" in the British way?  And I also find it hilarious when he says these typically British phrases (e.g. "Sir Topham Hatt was very cross!") with an American accent.
• Sir Topham Hatt's brother Sir Lowham Hatt was in one episode, and caused the dreaded "confusion and delay."  This helped me hate Sir Topham Hatt a little less, and understand why he turned out the way he did, given a childhood spent with this ne'er-do-well.  Still, it does not excuse the way he behaves towards the trains.  But more importantly, how did some useless nobody like Sir Lowham Hatt become a "Sir"?  Clearly he inherited the title, which furthers the case against royalism.
• When will my child finally outgrow this horrible show?

Important Milestone

Today, Vinny lost a tooth for the first time!  The permanent tooth had pushed it forward in his mouth until it was very precariously perched in his mouth.  He wiggled and wiggled the tooth until finally it came out.

The neighboring tooth is starting to be pushed out in the same way by its corresponding permanent tooth. Coincidentally, he has a dentist appointment tomorrow.  It will be interesting to hear what the dentist has to say!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to my vast readership!

My work situation is not yet resolved, but that doesn't mean I can't write about other things!

We had a great holiday.  We got a chance to see the whole family on both sides.  First we visited my dad and stepmom, and saw my sisters and their families and my bonus siblings and their families as well.  Then we went to visit Jeff's parents, and got a chance to see his siblings and their families, and spend some extra time with his nephews.

Vinny got a lot of great presents.  The highlight to him was a portable washing machine that Santa brought for him.  It is a small, hand-cranked washing machine that is basically a giant salad spinner.  The moment he saw it, he lost all interest in opening his stocking or playing with anything else.  He pretended to wash a lot of things, but it wasn't until yesterday that he and I actually used it to wash a few of his clothes.  It worked amazingly well!

In other news, I had long been annoyed by the hideously ugly wallpaper in the master bathroom at our house, especially because it was halfway peeling off the walls.  So I decided to solve that problem by removing the wallpaper.  Once I began peeling the wallpaper off, it was really hard to stop.  I was late to work on Friday because I couldn't stop peeling the wallpaper.  The wallpaper is mostly gone, but even halfway done it is an improvement.  The problem is that the bathtub and tile in the bathroom is a hideous dusty rose color from the 60's.  It's on the orange side of pink -- kind of like this.  It is the equivalent of that 70's avocado color, only pink.  My plan is to paint the walls a neutral color that will not clash with the dusty rose.  After this project is finished, I'm going to replace the hideous peeling vinyl floor in there.

Decisions, Decisions

I've reached a difficult point in my career.  I have some big decisions to make.  All I feel like doing is curling up and hoping that it will all go away, but I know that won't work.  I have to be proactive and make sure I get what I want.

Forgive my silence this past month as I've been working on the future of my career.  I'll tell you what happened once I come out the other side!

My Big Boy

It is hard to believe that my sweet little boy is 5 years old!  He turned 5 about a month ago, and we had a birthday dinner for him.  The presents included Boba Fett action figures of various sizes, and a fancy steering wheel setup for the Playstation 3 that included a gear shift and pedals.  But the biggest hit by far was an antique fan.  Jeff picked it up off of Ebay, from an estate sale.  It is 60 years old, but works beautifully still.

He still loves fans, and has amassed quite a collection.  One of his birthday presents, a joint gift from my boss and my admin and their families, was a fan shaped like a dog.  The actual fan part was located in the tummy of the dog.  He loved this fan, and played with it for hours -- just turning it on, and then back off, on, and off, on, and off...

He's taken a fan to school for show-and-tell at nearly every available opportunity.  And, speaking of school, he is doing really well at school.  The main issue is that he is 5 days too young to be an official kindergartner, but at his school they are letting him participate in the kindergarten classes and we are paying the kindergarten rate.  His teacher said his math skills are off the charts (gee, where did he get that, I wonder?) and his reading is at the 1st grade level.  She said he should really be promoted to first grade next year, because he will be bored out of his wits and cause trouble if he has to repeat kindergarten.  We have to start working now with figuring out how to get him tested and into first grade.

He has an amazing mastery of the English language.  He often surprises me with the things he knows!  I really love talking to him.

How to Get Yourself an Interview

Some people despair that in science, it is an old-boys' club, and nobody outside can get in.  While that is undoubtedly true in some areas, from my experience, computational science is a pretty open field.  Sure, it doesn't hurt that I went to an extremely prestigious school and had a very famous and well-respected adviser, but I have gotten multiple interviews and several job offers without his direct help.  I can give you some advice that has served me well:

• Job-hunting is a lot like dating.  In addition to your qualifications, there has to be a certain chemistry there, otherwise it will not work out.  There have been jobs for which I was underqualified, but got offers nonetheless, because that chemistry was there.  Conversely, I have been well qualified for some jobs that I did not get.
• Your application is an advertisement for the product known as you.  So make sure that it appeals to the people doing the hiring!  
• Write a stellar cover letter, outlining the ways in which your qualifications and experience satisfy the job requirements, and the great things that you can bring to the position.  Be sure to include some indication of your personal enthusiasm for the position -- this goes a long way towards building the chemistry (or rapport) with the hiring manager.  They want you to like them and what they have to offer, not just be a robot who does the work.  Writing essays comes naturally to me, so I find it really easy to knock out a good cover letter quickly, but if you do not possess this gift, write a draft and get somebody who's a better writer than you to give you feedback.
• Tailor your CV to the position.  If you are applying for a technical job, outline your technical skills.  If you are applying to work with me at a large HPC center, tell me how much experience you have with MPI, OpenMP, and other relevant libraries, tools, and programming languages, and tone down the irrelevant skills like your Microsoft Access training.  If you are applying for a managerial position, then outline your managerial skills.  Even if you don't directly supervise anyone, there are still relevant leadership skills and experiences that you may have.
• Don't be scared to brag.  Sometimes people don't know how awesome you are, so you need to tell them.  If you are applying for a position in a different country, for example, they may not realize that your Ph.D. institution is ranked in the top 5 in the U.S., so this is something you need to tell them.  And things that you think everybody should know if they are applying for this job (e.g., MPI for one of the positions I've been hiring for) -- you would be amazed how many people don't actually have those skills.  So be sure to let us know you do have those skills!
• Not getting a particular job is not the end of the world.  There are many paths to happiness in life, many ways a career can go, and being flexible improves your ability for happiness.

Applying Late for Jobs and My View from Both Perspectives

I was inspired to write this post after reading a question to Dr. Isis about applying for a job "too late" due to having had a baby, which interfered with the applicant's ability to apply in a timely manner.

I commented:

As a person who has been on both the job-searching and the hiring sides, deadlines are there for convenience but they are rarely hard deadlines. I once submitted an application 20 days after the deadline and still got an interview. As another datapoint, someone emailed me when I was wrapping up my decisions about who to interview for a job, and I told him to hurry up and apply. That candidate ended up being the best one, and just started the job yesterday!

It will take them two weeks before they really even start looking through the applications. Hiring is an extremely time-consuming process, but at the early stages it is easy to add in another application to be considered. So definitely apply.

I was once a wee beginning job applicant, afraid of annoying the powers that be by not following the rules.  But, having now been at the other end of the table, I have a much different perspective.  While there are some things that may disqualify you for a particular position, there are few acts so egregious that a hiring manager will remember your name and make sure that you never, ever get a job with anyone they know.  (This is a notable exception!)

For that job where I applied  20 days too late, I told them my reason why.  It wasn't even a very good reason -- I hadn't seen the job posting until that day, and it just seemed like something too good to pass up.  I did not have a good excuse like Dr. Isis' correspondent.  But my application was very strong and I got the interview.  So it can happen.  In the worst case, they don't interview you, which is the same result as if you had never applied.

Really though, unless they are a completely unreasonable person (in which case, you don't want that job anyhow!), there is no negative repercussion from applying a little late if you accidentally missed the application deadline.  Now, that is not me giving you permission to willfully ignore all deadlines -- I'm just saying that honest mistakes are easily forgiven.

Job applicants often have this myopic vision of the hiring process.  I was talking to one of the postdocs I'd hired and I complained about how hard it was to fill the position, how many times my offers were rejected, and how glad I was that they were there.  "Oh," said the postdoc. "I only thought of it from the applicant's perspective -- it never occurred to me that you would be disappointed by people rejecting your job offers!"

Yes, we are disappointed by people rejecting our job offers!  Just as much, if not more, than applicants are disappointed by not getting the job.  It is a huge investment of time to screen applications, talk to applicants, bring them in for interviews, collect and evaluate feedback, and extend offers.  I was so heartbroken the first time my offer was rejected.  I really thought I'd had that candidate in the bag!  But I had to get over it quickly and get the whole process started again.

Making a job offer is a lot like making a Jane Austen-era marriage proposal.  You tell the person you really like them, they are just what you've been looking for, and you want to spend 40 hours a week together with them.  You have these means to provide for them (a.k.a. a salary), and you hope to produce little hybrids of yourself and them (a.k.a. research papers), if only they find you as attractive as you find them.  Then you smile nervously and hope they will say yes.

They usually have to take some time to think about your offer, and you desperately hope that they will think you are Mr. Bingley and not Mr. Collins.  I've been Mr. Collins more often than I would like.  In fact, I once had one person reject my job offer so that they would be free to possibly interview elsewhere (the place of their dreams, but that had not yet contacted them with any interest).  I don't know if that puts me in the same league as Mr. Darcy with his first proposal to Elizabeth Bennet, but that was a pretty odd rejection to say the least.  But it was all good, I offered the job to the next person on the list, who verbally accepted it immediately, and I felt relief that the position was finally filled.

After experiencing both sides of the table, I understand the hiring process much more, and at this point I am unafraid of applying for jobs (if I were in a position that I needed to do so).  I know how the system works.  I would know how to make myself attractive to hiring managers because I have been in their shoes.  I will write another post on that topic.