I learned today that it's Freedom to Marry Week. The purpose of this week is to raise awareness and encourage marriage equality.
Unlike most of my fellow Tennesseeans, I voted against Proposition One (prohibiting same-sex marriage) on our ballot in the fall. I believe that the state should recognize the union of two consenting adults who love one another, regardless of the parity or disparity in their 23rd pair of chromosomes. As I've said before, marriage is not a religious institution; otherwise, the marriages of atheists like me would not be valid. If churches don't want to perform the sacrament of marriage for same-sex couples, that's fine with me. They wouldn't want to perform the sacrament of marriage for me, either, and it wouldn't be fair to require them to do so. But the secular institution of marriage is beyond their purview.
I've always been a proponent of marriage equality, but this issue is near and dear to my heart because there are people near and dear to me who are adversely affected by the marriage double standard. Two of my immediate family members are left without legal recourse in the event of the decline, hospitalization, or wrongful death of their dearest loved one. And while I may not be on such great terms with one of those family members, I still don't think it's right for her to be deprived of the rights that my husband and I enjoy purely by virtue of having different organs.
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4 comments:
Thanks for the support, Bec!
And I gotta say, it's not just about the hospitalization and stuff (that's rough, but not an everyday reality).
I wish I could get married for things like health benefits, too. Anne and I have been discussing just how much she wants to have kids and be a stay-at-home mom. We can (probably, in most places) adopt kids. But to allow her to stay at home and care for them, she's going to need to be covered by my health insurance (and the same goes for the kids!).
Not very many places I might work offer health benefits to same-sex partners. Neither of the Catholic schools where I interviewed did, and they frankly admitted they probably never would until the government forced them to do it.
Never before had I wished so much to be male. I'm usually really happy to be female. But if I were male, then I could marry her! And then this wouldn't be anything to worry about. It's only because of my gender that I can't marry her; which to my mind is pretty clear gender discrimination.
Jeff, Rachel, our mom -- so many people I know got to be stay-at-home parents. Most likely, Anne will either have to get a job to give her health insurance, or we'd pay for it out-of-pocket. Either way, that will create greater stresses for our (future, hypothetical) family.
Oops, that was a longer rant than I intended. My point is: thanks for the support, Becca, and happy freedom-to-marry week!
Come to Canada! WOOoooOOooo! You know you want to! Or Massachusetts. Can't you get married there? Or the Netherlands?
I think you get some kind of maternity leave when you adopt in Canada as well.
Sorry my blog is broken, or I'd be writing this up as well!
Laura, that is yet another reason I do not think that health insurance should be tied to employment. But since it is, yes, I agree, you should be allowed to marry and provide for your spouse, no matter what.
I've read that even if you can get benefits for your same-sex partner through your employer, since you're not married, you have to pay taxes on that. And benefits are non-trivial, expense-wise. My employer and I pay over $900/month for health insurance. It would suck if I had to pay taxes on that.
One solution is to move to Canada, of course, but if everybody who dislikes what's going on here moves to Canada, then we let the bigots win, and we can't have that. That's why I'm staying put. I think it's important for people to see an example of an atheist who's a nice person and doesn't sacrifice babies to Satan, just like it's important for them to see an example of lesbians who are nice people and just want to live their lives in peace.
Until the day comes that my life is on the line, I won't even consider moving away. (Except if I get a really cushy job offer from Sweden. Then I will consider moving.)
Interesting post, even more interesting comments. Although I have no family members who are affected immediately by the prohibition of same-sex marriage (not to mention that I grew up in Massachusetts and cheered for my home state when it legalized it), this issue bothers me greatly. I feel so lucky to have been able to marry my husband. We are still newlyweds, less than a year married, and one thing I love about being legally married is the comfort of knowing that I can be there if he gets sick, that no one will question me when I express his desires, that there will be no arguments about whether I deserve to be with him in the hospital. It's even easier when people call on the phone about an account in his name! We merged our finances nearly three years ago, so for two of those years he had to call people back and take care of things that are much easier now.
I understand your sentiments about leaving, and the bigots winning. I do think that if we all left, however, they would realize what a mistake they'd made, and that would have an impact too.
Good to see you as well don't think health insurance should be tied to employment. The health insurance thing is one of my issues regarding my ideal separation of childcare duties with my husband - ideally, we'd both work part-time. But in today's America, that means no health care for either of us.
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