If there were a newspaper boring enough to find me newsworthy, here might be some of the articles you could read:
Local Woman Still Recovering from Business Travel
Could use about 24 additional hours of sleep
Roomba Great Source of Entertainment for 3-Year-Old
Floors cleaner than ever
Computational Scientist Breaks Yet Another Compiler
'Not another bug report to file,' complain exasperated system administrators
World's Best Second-Rate Mathematician Gets Some Work Done this Week
Rare opportunity for work arises during two days without meetings
Mother and Son Have Dinner out at Area Restaurant
Father attending meeting
Area Woman Still Running Three Times a Week
'Thank goodness for my mean running coach,' she says
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